what life is all about

Choctaw's 7th Annual Powwow

2011-11-28T19:11:00.001-08:00

On Saturday Stephen and I attended and photographed Choctaw's 7th annual Powwow. First let me say that in my rush to find any clothing that would fit over my turkey bloated belly I grabbed one of Stephen's t-shirts and headed off to do some photography. Once we arrived and found our selves a place to dump our bags and jackets I suddenly found myself feeling extremely self conscious. What a complete moron I was to have grabbed one of Stephen's t-shirts with a huge British flag across the chest. I mean really who goes to an Indian event and advertises that the British are here!!!! I quickly grabbed $20 bucks from the ATM and purchased a really cute brown and pink Powwow t-shirt. Not that I am ashamed to have married a Brit. I for one love the fact that Stephen is British and most days I cope with his British ways fairly well (lol) but I am not completely blind to the fact that the Indians lost a lot due to the British. I did feel that flaunting a British flag at an Indian Powwow was a bit disrespectful and not at all my intention. Once I had corrected my error I found myself in complete awe of the events taking place around me.

Partly I was feeling guilty about the fact that our children where missing out on such an amazing event, partly I was thinking that there was no way Ayden would stay in a stroller for 15 hours with this much excitement all around him and partly I was excited about the potential photographs. I found myself, several times, staring in awe of the dances taking place before me, so captivated that I had to remind myself to take the photos.

I am embarrassed to admit that I graduated high school with a class that was at least half Indians, I have family that are Indian, but I have little understanding of the traditional Powwow and what a lot of the stuff means. For instance each person had various stripes and designs painted on their faces and I have no idea what those symbols represent. As well each group of competitors had different wardrobes to wear and I don't know what each of them represent. As well there was an instance when one Indian's bustle (I only know it is a bustle because the MC said so) came unattached from his clothing and fell to the floor. I had no idea that there was a specific way that the bustle must be retrieved. In another instance a section of feathers fell onto the floor and another, but different, ritual was done to retrieve the feathers. I had no idea and found the entire thing fascinating.

I noticed that through out the dances, quite often the dancers would have their heads down, almost as if in prayer. It had the feel of a religious reverence and in many ways could be very humbling.

This is my favorite image of the head lowering portion of the dances. This particular man seemed to be so completely consumed by his dance and the meaning of it that he never even recognized my lens pointing at him. I love those shots where the subject is so focused and so unconscious of the world around them.

It was a long day but I honestly loved it, I could do this type of photography every day!

Interesting change in Falconry Photographs

2011-11-05T20:23:00.000-07:00

Over the last couple years while Stephen was dragging me kicking and screaming into supporting him in his falconry adventures I have obsessively photographed his Redtails every time I get a chance. Last weekend We drove to Bartlesville, OK to take some senior portraits of the son of a friend. At the end of the day I got my first glimpse of a Falcon training. It all happened so quickly that I didn't think much about the situation or the bird really. Today however we went to Ft. Worth so that Stephen could go hunting with a friend of his (Mario Nickerson) Now once again I am not a Falconer and only have a very dubious connection to Falconry because Stephen is a Falconer, so mind you I may have terms incorrect. I do believe that the above bird is a Harris Hawk??? anyway I found photographing him amazing and a bit different than my past experiences. First of all the above hawk (Jimmy) does not wear bells, in the last couple of years I have became accustom to following Stephen's hawks with my camera, partly relying on the bells to help me keep up with them. Because Jimmy has no bells I struggle to figure out where he was, where he was going or when he was moving. At the end of the day I was thinking "omg I now have to dig deeper into falconry to understand Harris Hawks if I want to anticipate possible moves and maybe get any shots!" How the heck it is that my complete delusions of not supporting Stephen's ventures into the world of Falconry have evolved into me needing to know more I simply can't even begin to think about. ( read my older blogs to understand my reasoning for outright hatred for Stephen's desire to become a Falconer and you will see I never had a chance here) It never fails Stephen gets a hobby and I get sucked in, that is just how it works.I need to find a really feminine hobby if I ever want to repay him for sucking me in all the time!

Any way, Mario's hawk was pretty quick and extremely quiet! I have to say I was super impressed at the end of Jimmy's hunt when we headed back to the car. First of all this was our first face to face with Mario, and we all hopped into my car to head to the hunting area. So imagine my surprise when Mario said "30 second warning in a minute Jimmy will fly ahead of us and back to the car" That comment wasn't the surprise, the surprise came when Jimmy flew back to our car! If we had of been in Mario's car then ok but this was as strange car that Jimmy knew he came there in! Even better was when Mario made Jimmy work for his treats and started throwing the bits in the air for Jimmy to go after. That few moments of tricks and bits gave me a chance to anticipate the hawk a bit better and resulted in the few good shots that I got for the day. I have to say it was impressive and a huge Thanks to Mario!!

Now along the way I grabbed a couple shots of the scenery and a couple abstract shots where I purposely slowed the camera down to beyond slow and captured some weeds blowing in the wind. Not that you can tell what the subject is, but a slow shutter speed, bright yellow weeds and a hard wind makes an interesting abstract shot!!

More Photographs

2011-10-25T15:57:00.000-07:00

Just a few images that I have taken for class this week. Finding creative overexposure to be quite interesting and useful!

Nikon D7000

2011-09-20T18:25:00.000-07:00

Recently I upgraded my Nikon D80 to a Nikon D7000. I chose the D7000 because reviews say that this camera is great for action shots, panning and tracking. I suppose it does a decent job of tracking if you are into soft images. However I want the above shot and I want the hawk's face and legs to be sharp, extremely sharp. I have probably taken a couple thousand photos with the D7000 so far, some in the field like this above image but a lot of studio shots and I have to say that not one of the images, even from a tripod are sharp. I even purchased a new Nikon Lens just to be sure that the issue wasn't down to using older lenses but even with the new lens the images look great from a distance but are soft when viewed up close. The more research Stephen and I do the more it seems that there could be a calibration issue with the D7000. Now my first thought here is that for the price of the camera the darn thing should be calibrated and shooting sharp before it goes on the shelf for sale. As things stand I am stuck on a class assignment that needs to be done right now but can't be done until I can mail the camera back to Nikon and get it sorted. I just have to wonder at this point what kind of reputation Nikon will have if they continue to sell equipment that has to be returned upon purchase in order to be repaired?

Photoshop

2011-08-31T19:54:00.000-07:00

Created these for one of my classes today. Not so sure that I created what they wanted but I liked them anyway

My View

2011-08-24T20:23:00.000-07:00

As always I have been neglecting my blog. I struggle to find the time to write even a short blog. I would say I am going to work on it more but truth is I have a lot on my plate so the best I can promise is to write when I can.

To start off with I downloaded a free trial if PS extended what ever it is, any way it allows you to stack photographs. I didn't like the final result so I went in PS and attempted my own stacking. The above image is the result. Just thought I would share that.... .

Now for the motivation behind writing a blog today.. totally not related to the above image. Stephen received a magazine in the mail the other day, some Falconry magazine that one of his friends had an article in. Oddly enough I swiped the magazine before he got to read it, just because I noticed an article that was written by a Falconer's wife. Now just because I have been in school for to long and I have an need to half hardheartedly site some sources; the magazine is American Falconry Volume 56, page 44, a story title "A Falconer's Wife" by Ann Kienholz Jurcevich. Not that I am attempting MLA citing or anything but clarity and credit where it is due.

The story being written by a falconer's wife instantly caught my attention. Maybe because I am married to falconer.... The story is written well enough and has a bit of a funny twist, with that said I couldn't relate to the story. I felt sorry for the wife and her husband's lack of attention and I guess I have suffered from "falconry tunnel vision" a time or two over the last two years. But I think I vary from this wife because some how I got sucked in. I have said it before and I will say it again. I am not a falconer, I have never attempted to study for or take the test, I don't personally possess a hawk and I have no desire to deal with a hawk while it is killing and eating it's prey. Those things aside, you can't be married to or live in the same home as a falconer and not be affected by falconry. This is my view and my story about how I got sucked in.......

Not only has Stephen's three hawks given me a couple of great photographic opportunities, which I have from time to time posted in my blog, but there is the matter of trapping. Now any adrenaline junkie would be hard pressed to pass on trapping day. I openly admit that I went kicking and screaming into the role of "falconer's wife" I wasn't happy that the muse was built where my storage shed was suppose to be built.

As I said earlier I have suffered from some of the "falconry tunnel vision" myself. In fact the muse was not only built where my storage shed was suppose to go, he chose the worse time ever to build the muse. See I had just had a pretty major surgery with some serious complications, so I had to be off work without pay for a couple of months. Realistically loosing my income for two months should have been a serious reason to forgo the expense of building a muse. However Stephen figured if he built the muse while I was mostly unconscious maybe...just maybe I wouldn't notice that the muse had been built where my storage shed should be standing. Needless to say I seriously had no intention of even acknowledging that Stephen was doing falconry because I was so mad at him over the muse, he didn't even have a hawk yet and I was royally pissed.

However Stephen had a trick up his sleeve. We had taking the early stages of our relationship really slow, during that time we discussed a lot of stuff, including the fact that neither of our previous spouses seemed to be interested in even learning the basics about the things that we were interested in let alone supporting us in chasing our dreams. So in one of those sappy moments we promised that if either of us had an interest the other would at least attempt to be involved, then if we hate it we can opt out of participating but we have to give it a chance first. Some how I have not to date enforced this promise on Stephen, but he has done so to me a few times. The photography I went into willingly, the falconry and bee keeping he pulled the "but you promised" card and I got sucked in.

Stephen had been building up to "permit day" for what seemed like a lifetime. Basically he had passed his test for his falconry permit and was waiting for the permit. I heard the "you promised" speech a thousand times during that waiting period. Then his permit came in and he didn't say a word to me, I found out because I heard him telling his sponsor on the phone. He rushed around and was gone trapping before I could ask him where he was going or even grab my camera. Now mind you that I was not exactly recovered from this surgery, I wasn't exactly able to chase after him. I was even more determined at this point to really not support the falconry, how the heck is he going to guilt me into supporting his hobby and then run out the door and leave me sitting there, I mean come on I hobbled through OKC for two days when I could barely walk so that he could take his test but he didn't take me trapping with him. I was done with falconry before it ever really began.

Admittedly Stephen realized his mistake after I pointed out his errors.... ok this is a man thing that is grossly enhanced when your husband is a falconer, especially when it is their first trapping attempt.... no excuses though he ditched me.... Once Stephen calmed down he realized that he can't pull the "you promised" card and then totally ditch me because that voids the promise and he isn't dumb enough to think I wouldn't recover from surgery and get some payback.

Over the next few days Stephen took me trapping in the evenings, well he trapped and I drove. This really wasn't much fun and I wasn't in any way convinced that I should be supportive, but see we were not seeing many hawks and not trapping any. Then the weekend rolled around and Stephen's sponsor, Steve, decided that this hunting with out trapping pretty much sucked. The whole point in trapping is to trap a hawk that is young enough to be kept, so we had been driving around for days and days looking at old hawks, and not trapping anything. Steve basically decided that we were going to trap the first hawk that would get on the trap because Stephen needed to experience a trapping or two before he went out trapping on his own.

Now this is where they hooked me, this is where Stephen started pulling me into supporting him. Trapping is a lot like fishing. If the fish are biting its just flat out fun but when the fish aren't biting it is the most boring thing ever. Same goes for trapping if you are driving all day and not trapping or even trying to trap anything its so mind numbing it makes you want to drive into oncoming traffic just to be doing something besides driving and looking at empty telephone poles. Everything changes when your passenger throws out a trap though. Here is how it works.... you drive by slow enough to not kill the bait when they through it out but fast enough to not scare off the hawk. This is easier said than done because a wild hawk is scared of people but most of them are used to cars driving by fairly fast. If you are going to fast, they have to through the trap a little to hard and fast and well that is not always good for the bait. In our case this was a hamster. The bait not only needs to live because we have children who want to keep it as a pet, but hawks tend to go for live moving hamsters not dead ones.

Once the trap is thrown out you have to drive a good distance from the hawk and trap, turn the car around and wait. Just like fishing, your sitting on the bank waiting for a bite, only in this case everyone else is watching the hawk on top of the pole with binoculars. I don't watch with binoculars when I am driving because it is really hard to safely peel out and drive like a nut to the trap if your looking through binoculars. I don't need binoculars anyway, I can see this hawk swoop down onto the trap and I can see it jumping around in an attempt to get off the trap, but most importantly all the people with binoculars will be screaming at the top of their lungs "go! go! go!" I don't need binoculars I have a pretty good idea when it is time to go.

From that first day when we trapped the first hawk that we saw, I was hooked on trapping, as long as we are trapping something, anything really, I am up before Stephen and in the car with my foot on the gas before he ever gets in the car. Its just plain old fun. I have talked Stephen into trapping in the snow, I have driven for hours on end just to get to places where hawks might be at. He hooked me with trapping.

Then there is training, as I said before I am not interested in hunting with the hawk. In fact I have rarely went on hunts with Stephen, because I don't care to see the hawk catch it's prey. Training on the other hand is almost as fun as trapping. It's a matter of getting this hawk to fly from it's perch to your arm. The hawk won't want to do this at first but once he realized there is food on the glove he will fly at Stephen at a high rate of speed and land hard on the glove. Not only is this amazing to see but extremely challenging to photograph. Any person with an interest in photography would be hard pressed to pass up the chance to photograph a hawk flying by your face at 30 miles an hour (that is a guess I don't know the actual speed).

I suppose my entire point here is that Jurcevich wrote a story about how her husband had ignored her because of his falconry, however my view is that if you get involved in falconry, a non falconer, spouse of a falconer, could get just as much enjoyment out of falconry as the falconer does! In fact, Stephen has almost completed all of his "molting season to-do list" and I am ready for him to start working with Shilo, I got a new camera and need to try it out on Shilo...

A matter of uneducated opinion

2011-05-07T22:37:00.000-07:00

As always I have been neglecting my blog because of school, work and life in general. I happen to be about to finish two classes that both required photos each week. So I have been taking a lot, but not so many that I was excited enough about to come write a blog. Until today, well yesterday but the motivation came today.

One of my classes required us to take a series of images each week and submit them to the instructor only, the rest of the class did not see any of them until this week. The point of the series is to either create a series of images that could be used in a advertisement campaign or a series of images in a journalistic style. At the end we will choose 8 images from all of the course that are appropriate for the style we chose to shoot in.

Considering that more than one of my instructors have told me that they struggle to get me to shoot a series of images outside of a journalistic style, which I have never done intentionally it just happens that way, I choose to do the journalistic style and use Stephen's hawk to create a series of photos that pretty much represents falconry through the spouses eyes, because I am no falconer but I live with one and believe me not being a falconer does not prevent falconry from taking over the spouse's life.

Late last night I posted my set of images from this week. Here they are:

There are three additional photos of the hawk having dinner, Stephen ask me not to post them so I won't. Really those three images were a huge step across a line that I have not crossed before. I never stick around for feeding, I don't care to deal with feeding, to see it or photograph it. Stephen fed the hawk and I didn't realize what he had done until I had already snapped a few shots. I included those three images in my post to my instructor because realistically the hawk eats, it is part of nature and something that a falconer must deal with, and something that the falconer's family must learn to live with.

Any way, you get the general idea here, its photos all about the hawk. My instructor's response was this:

What you need to work on is the composition. When you shoot close up images, you will really need to pay attention on every detail in the frame. Take a look at George Reis’s assignment for this week. He has shot his airplane model in variety that will make the story more interesting. His carefully cropped images are great as well, and he chose the frame and DOF to bring the viewer’s eye to the center focus of the image.

You can use the same approach with hawk. Image1_1 is a slightly underexposed but handsome image of hawk. This image is earthestically successful because of the diagonal line that the hawk’s feather and entire face create. Image 2 needs more structural element like image 1. While keeping the artistic composition, you also need to illustrate what it is in the image so the viewer who does not know the subject you are shooting can understand what it is. Image3 can work in the project as long as it has the same concept as other images. Image3_1 seems good for the composition, and the mouse does not look too bad there.

So now I feel compelled to post the images that she wanted me to "look" at. First let me say this, George Reis is a student in one of my classes, he has posted some amazing work, and a couple of my other instructors always post previous student's assignments as an example of how our assignment should be assembled. George's assignments seem to be a favorite among many of my instructors and with good reason. He does pretty good work and my argument here has nothing to do with the quality of his work, because I personally have really liked the work that I have seen. So here are the images:

Now bear in mind that the assignment could either be an advertisement or a journalistic style. It is obvious to me that George went for the advertisement style of images. He did in deed capture great images of his product. However he is shooting clean shots to depict the product that would be for sale. I am shooting a story that informs the viewer about the subject. So George has three close up images, dead on shots, good images but if I was reading a story or listening to a wild life channel, these three images wouldn't add a lot of character, they are product shots, straight forward, white background, even light, perfect for showing the viewer what they would get if they purchased the product, not so great for showing the character of the product. Do these images say, I am mysterious or dangerous, no that is not the intent nor the result. Now I have three close up images of Shilo's face. I chose more contrasty light to show character, not that she disputed the light, she said my composition was off and should be more like George's composition, well umm I am not selling a product, I am showing character, straight forward images on white background with even light wouldn't show that. She also said my first image is under exposed, well that is a matter of opinion, and not my opinion what so ever.

Moving on, George has three images that are not so close in and have a longer depth of field, in other words the entire image is in focus. My images are of Shilo's feet, showing his talons and jessies.The instructor indicated that I needed " to illustrate what it is in the image so the viewer who does not know the subject you are shooting can understand what it is" I took this to mean that a viewer not familiar with a hawk wouldn't know what the images were of. Now this is where my mouth fell open. Well before Stephen trapped a live hawk, even before he bought 101 books about hawks, hell before I met Stephen, when I was in 2nd grade, I could have looked at those three images and knew right away that those were the feet of a bird, a bird with very large claws. Does the instructor think that my viewers are un-intelligent, two year olds that don't know what a birds foot looks like? Hello even my 2 year old knows that Shilo's feet have claws and can hurt you! If my instructor or any other viewer looks at these three images and don't know that they are the feet of a bird of some sort, they should go back to elementary school and review their science book because I feel sure that this was covered before I moved on to middle school. Not to mention that these assignments are suppose to be done in a manor as if we had been hired for a shoot and needed to produce the images for the client. They are suppose to be images usable in real life. So let us be realistic here. The average joe is not going to hire someone to take photos of a hawk in order to sell their air plane, coffee or toy cars. Someone hiring a photographer to capture images of a hawk is going to be doing some project related to hunting, falconry or wildlife. These people would hopefully want images that captured the significant details about the subject. Ask any falconer and I think you will find that the hawk's feet and those leather thingies and bells around his leg are pretty damn important to the subject . (that would be bells and jessies Stephen, I do know the name but apparently my instructor don't have a clue)

I can't even be bothered to read the rest of her comments or to respond to them. The bottom line is, if you want to tell me I should shoot more like someone else maybe it would be a good idea to pick a student that chose the same style for the assignment as I did. You can't compare advertisement photography to journalistic photography it is apples and oranges, both very important and both have potential of amazing photography but they are different things, used differently and done differently. Not to mention that from day one, over a year ago, when I started this degree in photography there has been huge weight put into the idea that we each need to develop our own style of shooting and our own creative view of every subject, well damn it, this is my view of falconry from a spouses stand point, if you don't want to see the images of a hawk eating a mouse and you are not impressed with the subject you had a chance in week 1 (5 weeks ago) to tell me then that the subject was not appropriate for the course and I could have been giving these images to my other instructor and you could have got the freaking images of flowers growing in my yard!

On that note I did take a couple of shots of flowers in my yard, then per my class assignment I altered them in PhotoShop, so completely off the topic here are a couple of those images too!

To much time with the doctors

2011-03-17T21:25:00.000-07:00

Our family has spent a bit to much time at the doctors the past few days. On Friday afternoon I had to head out to drills, but all day while I was at work my ear was hurting and itching like mad. So I returned home Sunday afternoon and my ear was worse. I attempted to do some homework even though I felt like crap. Mean while Katie was climbing all over her dad. In the process he attempted to pull her over his shoulder and all of the sudden Katie was screaming bloody murder and Stephen was in a bit of a panic because he thought he had broken her arm. We loaded up in the car and headed off to the hospital. On the way there I mentioned a time when Sara had a similar situation and it turned out to be "nurse maids elbow" which is basically where one of the bones that connects to the elbow comes out of socket. Stephen was sure he had broken her arm and man he was raking himself over the coals about it. She wouldn't move her arm at all, was crying like crazy and Stephen kept poking at her hand because it was pretty purple and very limp The nurse who did the initial height, weight and vitals convinced Katie to try and give him five with the injured arm and all of the sudden as Katie put it " my arm is all better" this is because the quick movement of stretching her arm out popped the bone back into place and the majority of the pain instantly disappears. They did tell us that Katie happened to have a fever of 101 while we were there.

We returned home with me thinkng "why didn't I get my ear checked out while I was there because man it hurts a heck of a lot" . I muffled through the night in pretty bad pain and feeling fairly ill. On Monday I had to go back to the hosptial to get some blood work done for the military. After a lot of mess and a long wait the military and the hospital finally sorted out the red tape and I had seven tubes of blood drawn. I attempted to get an appointment with Stephen's doctor to get my ear checked out but they wanted me to hang around town for several hours before they could see me. I opted to walk into a clinic that does urgent care, they take walk ins only. I waited there for almost two hours.

At least I had some intertainment while I waited. As I was walking in so was a man with his daughter. Here you have this guy who isn't much taller than me (which isnt very tall) a bit pudgy but not much, dressed in jeans and a jacket naming the fire department that he worked for, just an average joe brining his dauhter to the doctor because she hurt her foot in PE at school. He gets her signed in and I am waiting to do the same when in rushes this woman. She hot foots it over to her daughter to inquire how bad her foot was and insist that the daughter and husband hobble over to different seating so that she can sit with them. This woman is wearing a black, white and red shirt and some bright read hooker heals but here is what gets me, the woman is not exactly over weight, sure losing 20 pounds wouldnt hurt her but she isnt obese by any means, however she is tall (even more so with the hooker heals on) and big boned, with a sizable rear-end. What got me was that she was wearing these white pants that where at least a full size to small, which made her rear end look even bigger and caused her boy short undies to make a perfect impression on both sides, The affect was that she looked reduclace and I am sure that she would die if she knew her back side looked broader than a barn, Now I have had my own battles with weight and wouldnt ever point out some one elses weight issues, but thats not the problem here the problem is you cant wear white, almost see through pants that are to small, it makes you look obserdly bigger and just foolish.

I spent the two hours in the waiting room amused at this woman with her toooo small white pants, all dressed up with her average looking family, she couldn't help but force her husband into a loud converstation about her new car, and how expensive every detail in it was, and how expensive her old car was. The impression that I got of her was that she wanted very badly to be a class or two above where she started out in life and had no concept of how to appear that way, so instead she loudly brags about all of her possesions. I for one think you can have all the money in the world and still not be happy. However regaurdless of how much money you do or don't have I think even the poorest of women should be aware that you should never wear white, see through pants that are just to darn small because it makes your ass look huge and cottage cheeseyyyyyy!

It turned out that I had a really bad ear infection, the doctor couldn't see my ear drum because my ear canal was swollen shut! Some serious antibiotic drops and I am better. However in the mean time Katie and Ayden both came home from daycare feeling a but yucky. Things went down hill after that, by the end of the week Katie had RSV and was running a fever of 106 after having Tylenol and Motrin, the doctors had to give her a shot and wrap her in wet towels to get her fever down. Ayden ended up with RSV, an ear infection and bronchitis. Luckily we are all feeling much better, maybe not 100% but better.

On another note here are a couple of recent random photos:

Photos of Stephen

2011-03-06T16:48:00.000-08:00

I haven't had much time to post lately with work and school. But I had to take these images the other day and was quite pleased so I thought I would post them. There are several of Stephen and one image of a tree that I took from my motel door room this weekend at drills.

More lighting images

2011-02-21T20:38:00.000-08:00

I took these for my class today, still not sure about using the meter, these were my favorite five and none of them are the ones with the light meter's settings. I think the last one is my favorite

Raising Katie Right!

2011-02-20T20:20:00.000-08:00

On Katie's first birtday I tried for over an hour to get a 1 year old photo of her, however the entire time she kept trying to take the camera. The only photo I finally got of her was one with her sitting and holding one of Stephen's older cameras and that only lasted a minute because she wanted my camera that flashes. I would post one of those photos but due to a hard drive issue a few months ago I can't seem to find where the images ended up being put on the new drives.

When Katie was closer to two we found her in her sister's bedroom with a bunch of her dolls posing in a chair, Katie had her sister's camera up to her face and was saying "smile with your eyes" to the dolls.

Yesterday I came in and set my camera down, still on the tripod and imported my photos. I always disconnect the cord as soon as the download stops or it drains my battery. So the camera was just there on the tripod and turned on. I hear Katie saying "Daddy Say Cheese". I turned to see her taking pictures of her dad. After fighting Stephen for his new point and shoot camera I snapped a photo of her. Its funny she don't much care to have her picture taken but she loves to touch the cameras any time she possibly can. I think I need to set her up her very one little shoot and let her snapp away!

On another note I was out taking photos for schoold today when I found myself squatted on the railroad tracks and a train coming right at me. I managed to snap a couple of very blurry shots but, I like them any way, mostly because we were litterally two feet from a speeding train!

Time to learn about lighting!

2011-02-19T22:55:00.000-08:00

Until now I have avoided using Stephen's light meter, I have enough trouble sorting out Fstops and all those technical Things. Today I had to use the meter for an assignment, well duuuu the meter tells you what Fstop and all that to use, so I suppose I have been avoiding the wrong piece of equipment! Tomorrow is a photography day as I need more images for this class, and I guess I also need to practice using that meter some more as I am required to use it in every shoot for the next six weeks.

A few pics of Stephens hawk

2011-02-08T22:21:00.000-08:00

Things seem strange on the photography front, my current classes don't require any images so my camera has been idle for a few weeks. I feel a little lost with doing no photos at all, I managed to get a few shots of Stephen and his hawk today though

Shilo in Training

2011-01-25T20:59:00.000-08:00

This song reminds me so much of my dad

2011-01-23T13:05:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we drove to Clarksville Arkansas for my dad's memorial service. I spent much of the time regretting that in almost 20 years I never made it back to Clarksville. Not that I didn't keep in contact with my dad, I had regular phone calls and he was not in Clarksville most of that time, he was traveling all over the place, so every time he came near where I live he would stop for dinner or to stay the night. It was all the rest of his family, that I regret not seeing over the years. It was great though I had tons of hugs and missed yous from the time we arrived until we left.

Then I attempted to take the family to a place that dad used to take us on a regular basis in the summer time. He always called it "Little Piney" however we couldn't find it. Another reason I should have been visiting the place, I couldn't remember where stuff was after all these years. As we were driving around looking for this creek I thought, see I still need my dad, I could have called him and ask for directions. I wanted to take the kids to this spot because it is the place where I caught my first fish. It was the summer between 2nd and 3rd grade. Dad insisted that if I wanted to fish I had to fix my own pole and even put bait on it. I spent a good half hour putting all the stuff on the pole and attempting to worm the hook. I had no fishing experience and no idea what I was doing. In my mind the bigger hooks where easier to use simply because the hole for the fishing line was so big. I eventually got the rod all set up with a huge hook, an evenr bigger bobber and a bout 1/4 of a worm. Dad and I had these 5 gallon buckets turned upside down to sit on. I threw my line out there and waited very patiently for a fish. Once I finally got a bite I was jerking the pole and reeling that line in like I had a fish the size of a whale. When I finally got the fish reeled in, it was about half the size of my hook! There I stood with this hook dangling in front of my face with tiny tiny minow on it! Apparentlty this was pretty darn funny because dad started laughing so hard that he fell backwards off this 5 gallon bucket, he laughed for a really long time before he studdered out " how did you catch that tiny fish with that huge hook!" Then he attempted to inform me that the fish was to small to keep and I would have to throw it back. I was heart broken, it was my first fish and I wanted to keep it! He finally gave in and said "ok, I will build a little circle wall out of rocks to put it in so that you don't have to give up your bucket to sit on" umm yeah he build a circle out of rocks in the water, the wall wasn't as tall as the water was high so when he put the fish in there it simply swam away! His reaction to this was to say "opps, looks like he got away" and I being so young didn't realize he had released my fish, I thought it really excaped!

We never did find the creek yesterday and eventually I turned around and took them to see the place where I grew up. For my entire life the area where I grew was called "Patton Hill" by everyone I ever knew. This was because it was all of my dad's family who owned the land on this dirt road. Unfortunately the roads have been changed, some blocked off by the city when they bought all the land and put in a water treatment plant others created to give access to the area where I used to live. I was disorientated at first because the house we lived in is no longer standing and another building is there. I only recognized the place because there is a telephone pole standing in the middle of the area. Years ago there was a dirt drive that is now covered over with grass, the land across the road had a barbed wire fence that sat back off from the dirt road. Later on my friends Julie, James, Lisa and Brenda lived on the property for a while. Our drive, the road and this empty space made an excellent dirt track for a go cart. we used to fly around this telephone pole at what felt like break neck speed to a bunch of kids. Once my younger brother leaned a piece of plywood against the fence and after a couple of good turns around the pole he drove straight up the ramp and over the fence, caught a huge amount of air time, then landed and kept on driving back through the gate out to the pole just in time for my grandparents to happen to be taking a Sunday stroll up the road to visit. Now my dad had came out and was watching but he arrived to late to realize what my brother was about to do, he saw the event he just didn't arrive in time to see the preparation. Now honestly once the dare devil stunt had already began there wasn't much my dad could have done until after the fact. My grandmother didn't arrive in time to realize that my dad had not approved or assisted in this stunt, so my poor dad got the chewing out of his life. My grandmother threatened to break off a switch and use it on him for allowing us kids to do such dangerous stuff. It was extremely funny, however the downfall to seeing dad get told off by his mother was that the rest of us kids never got a chance to try out the ramp!

I actually drove away from the place feeling let down really. I don't know why I thought it would be the same houses, same people same life sitting there waiting for me to return after all this time but I was just disappointed to see how much it had changed. Growing up on that hill we lived at the end of the dirt road, us kids were allowed to roam around it as much as we wanted because it was all family living in the area. There was a good section of just woods to play in and a dirt road. I spent my summers traipsing up and down that dirt road barefoot, picking berries and plumbs and drinking from a water hose. I honestly don't think I would let my kids walk the area barefoot today, the place seems to have deteriorated over the years and it truly is sad.

Once we left the hill, I took Stephena and the kids into town just to look around. While we were heading into town Tyrel called to invite us over to his house to have a look at the mobil home our dad was living in just before he passed away. He wanted me to look and see if dad had anything I wanted. For me this is just to hard, I feel uncomfortable going through anyones stuff but for certian my dad's stuff. I left with a hat, that was definatly something that my dad would have worn, Stephen picked out a pocket knife from a stock of stuff that I am sure my dad planned to sell at a flee market or knife show or something. I just couldnt go through it like a flee market and take stuff, it just didn't seem right to me.

Afterward we had pizza at Tyrel's house with his wife, son and daughter-n-law. It was nice just catching up and spending some times witht them. We left with the idea that in the summer we will get together and have a weekend at the lake together. It something I pland to do for sure because until this last week the only person in my family that my kids ever met and saw more than once is my dad, its strange for me to have such a strong sense of family when it comes to my own children yet they have never met mine, its another one of those things that just don't seem right.

Dad

2011-01-15T20:17:00.000-08:00

For the last few weeks we have had plans to go to Ponca City today and take Stephen's hawk for this Eagle Watch event that takes place every year. However two things happened. First Stephen's hawk decieded to catch a skunk yesterday afternoon, after de-stinky efforts Stephen, his hunting clothes, and the car are relatively free of skunk stink. The house is almost clear, I personally think I can still smell a hint of stink. The hawk and her hood are the problem, they still smell considerably stinky. We then thought we would still attend the event and simply not take the hawk.

A few days ago I got a voicemail from my dad saying he was in the hosptial and maybe I should call him back. I have been attempting to call him every since, however he didn't seem to be answering the phone. I wasn't terribly worried because every since about August he has been keeping me informed about a couple of non-cancerous tumors that he needed to have removed. However as Stephen and I stood in the stinky kitchen discussing the idea of leaving Willow at home for the event my younger brother called to inform me that those simply non-cancerous tumors were possibly a bit more complicated than what I had understood. After a call to my oldest brother (Teryl) our plans changed. We left home around 4am with the idea that we would go to the hospital and get some clear answers to confirm what the two brothers had been told, not that I didn't believe them but more that dad likes to be veigh about stuff so Teryl and I felt a face to face meeting with the doctors would help us understand better what exactly is going on. We kind of thought that an hour or two at the hospital would be enough for dad to deal with so we would carry on to the event and then come back to the hospital afterwards.

That plan didn't work to well. Once I got into dad's room I couldn't make myself just leave. Finally around lunch time I decieded that dad needed some sleep and we left to get some lunch and let the nurses handle their business with dad's care. Once I left the hospital for lunch I couldn't bear the idea of just going off to this event and leaving dad there, I had an urgent need to spend as much time with him as possible.

Once lunch was sorted out we headed back to the hosptial and met up with Teryl. Stephen and I had a breif conversation with the doctor before lunch, but I really felt that Teryl, being the oldest and the one in charge of dad's affairs should be there for the details, however Teryl and his wife Arnita had not arrived from out of state yet. While we were at lunch Teryl managed to catch up with the doctor and hear what we had heard first hand. Things are so much worse than a simple tumor that needed to be removed. The short of it is that at age 82, dads bladder, kidney's, abdominal wall, lymphnoeds and possibly his lungs are completely engrossed with small cell cancer. I didn't ask for the long medical name, small cell is enough information really. The type of cancer he has is fatal even to a really healthy young person so at his age and health there is no surgical or chemotheraphy options. The issue at hand at the moment is to make sure that dad has his affares in order, that he is comfortable in his last days and at his request that he returns to Arkansas where his roots are and his home is and always has been.

At one point Stephen and Arnita left Teryl and I in the room with dad on our own. First of all I can't express how much that ment to me and I am sure to Teryl as well. I think you can love someone so very much, and that person can be your soul mate, spouse, best friend and the one person you always want close to you and still there are moments that you need some personal time to sort out and cope with life and the things that naturally take place. Teryl and I have never been at odds, but there is a large age gap between us, we were not raised together and even though we know each other we haven't seen one another in many years. I think we both were very close to breaking down as we stood in dad's room watching him cope with the pain and discussing his life. Some times when a person passes away at a young age with a lifetime full of things left undone it makes the passing so hard on the ones left behind. But for me, standing there remembering the times and events of dad's life I can truly say that he lived a long, very full life that anyone would be proud to have lived.

My dad has a basic herd of children with out ever having any biological children. In his first marriage he aquired a 7 year old Teryl. Dad and Teryl have a mutal respect and love that is stronger than the average father son relationship. In some ways I think this may be down to something that I heard from my dad over the years. Dad chose to be Teryl's father, he didn't make a baby and then feel obligated, he made a choice to love this little boy as his own. That choice of love can at times create a bond stronger than blood ties.

Later in his life dad married my mother and aquired three children ages 10, 8 and 6, even later dad and my mother adopted two children. By the time this marriage took place 7 year old Teryl was grown, married and had three children of his own. This is the reason for the relation with out a close relationship, as a child I knew him and his family, we spent holidays together and thought of each other as family, but it wasn't the same as growing up with someone in the same home.

From the start of that marriage I believe that there was one purpose for the marriage, there was a total of five young children that needed a father and my dad was the right man for that job. I often heard dad's " I chose to be your dad" view of our relationship. Along with that he often used the expression "if you don't work, you don't eat" or "no workie, no eatie" Those two ideas stuck with me my whole life. I often tell my dad that I will work until I fall over because he instilled in me the idea that you never "get" anything in life you "earn" everything you have.

Along with taking on six children over his life dad accomplished a few other things. I have never met any man who has done as much as he has. I probably can't tell every thing he has done but off the top of my head I know he served in the military before he was of legal age to do so, it just happens that once upon a time birth documentation was not as well kept as it is today and he used that fact to smudge the truth enough to get int he military before he was suppose to. During his service he was severely injured and suffered greatly with burns and loss of hearing. Beyond the military dad worked with the police, I have seen an id card that would lead me to believe that he also worked with the DEA, he drove a semi for many years, he came out of retirement to start up a landscaping business and apparently was the third top salesman for Kirby vacuums at one point. Dad spent a lot of his time riding motor cycles across the country, training horses, traveled all around the country selling stuff at various flee markets and fishing through the night.

Teryl called him a jypsy today, as he said, Dad likes to move so much that in 9 years Teryl attended 12 different schools. Another term that Teryl used that fit my dad so very clearly dad was very much a "networker" he traveled all over the country and had friends in every town along the way. He could never have stopped in a town without knowing someone there. Both Teryl and I said today that if we are as active as dad was at age 80 we would be happy.

I feel as if my dad had lived a full and good life, as I sat there recalling various memories of him and watching him shake and cry in pain, I knew that there wasn't any reason why he needs to hang around suffering. He has accomplished more than most people would have ever dreamed of attempting and he has left no unfinished business in his past. I think in some ways it makes it easier to let him slip into this next phase with out a fight, but in other ways because he has been this amazing person in so many people's lives it make it even harder to let go. It seems unfair to let him suffer but it is heartbreaking to think of him not being here in our lives any more. It's an internal battle to wish him peace and want to hang onto him for as long as possible.
I think if he were in my shoes he would tell me relax and let nature take it's course so that the pain and suffering can be over with, I hope I have the strength to be happy for him when it is time for him to let nature take it's course. I suppose I won't have much choice and I know that I need to ready myself for the fact of it all, the last thing that dad said to Stephen and Teryl before he fell off to sleep tonight was that he is tired and ready to go home, he has people waiting for him on the other side and they happen to have the best fishing boat he has ever seen.

I have to say that the whole thing is being made easier by Teryl. I know that in many ways my mother hasn't been nice to him over the years. I also know that when someone makes your life hard it is easy to feel like you don't want any part of them or anyone connected to them. I haven't seen Teryl in years, not due to any problem that he and I ever had, but mostly because at age 18 I left home and staid as far away from home as possible. My one great tie to home and my roots is dad. My mom and dad divorced when I was 16, once I turned 18 and left her home I never attempted to return to Arkansas because I always felt that my mother left there on such bad terms that I wasn't sure how my intruding on the lives of my dad's family would be taken, even if I had the best of intentions because my mother had laid such a hard foundation. I always kept in touch with dad and saw him as often as possible considering my distance from the family. I walked into dad's room after lunch to a hug, and several to follow throughout the day. While talking to Teryl we quickly realized that our views, and what we wanted for dad was inline with one another. Several times during the course of speaking to the doctors and the palliative care personnel Teryl turned to me and said " Latrell and I will be making the decisions together about dads care and the path we take", It mean the world to me to be included as his daughter in making those choices. I think I will forever be grateful to Teryl and his wife Arnita for welcoming me into this important time after I have been so distant for so long.

Finally a doctor that listens

2011-01-03T20:40:00.000-08:00

Every since Sara got pregnant with Ayden there has been this real issue with doctors saying that she is now medically emancipated. My first thought about this is that if a 16 year old wasn't capable of comprehending medical issues such as pregnancy prevention then what makes people so sure she is capable of making life changing medical decisions. I realize these laws are in place to prevent forced abortions or the right to have an abortion but put that issue aside and look at the general health and welfare of a 16 year old child trying to make medical decisions. I had no clue what to say to a doctor at 16 and I know that Sara doesn't either. She sits there and shakes her head yes the whole time, she never ask questions or tells the doctor details about what is going on. Right after Ayden was born Sara had to change doctors, she wasn't allowed to see her pediatrician any more because she had a baby, she can't see the gynecologist (her gynecologist does gyno and regular family care also) but her gynecologist does not treat children unless they are pregnant. Needless to say she had to find a primary care provider. The clinic we use suggested a PA because Sara preferred a female provider.The first visit to the PA, Sara was told to stop taking her metphormin right away. This is medication that she has been on for about 5 years to control her insulin levels. When I went to see the PA with her to explain Sara's history and why she needs to stay on the metphormin, the PA turned to Sara and said " you are my patient, not your mom, I am not listening to what she has to say, do you want to be on the metphormin or not?" Sara replied that she wanted to stay on it because she don't like the way she feels when she is off of it. The PA relied with "well you will have to find another provider then" and left the room.

Sara always says she don't feel comfortable talking to the doctors about her health because even though they inist she is medically independent she don't feel like they listen to her. Today I went with her to see the doctor that I use when ever I don't have time to deal with the VA. I explained Sara's history to the nurse and then to the doctor. Both were a bit shocked that the PA tried to stop Sara's metphormin, both were a bit shocked at the PA's attitude as well, this PA is in the same clinic as the doctor we saw today. The doctor instantly told us that first because Sara is and has been on metphormin then she needs to stay on it unless she was to loose a major amount of weight, then he would look at lowering her dose and eventually taking her off completely, however that would only happen if she was to loose to much weight which is very unlikely with her medical condition. Secondly the doctor ask her about depression after delivery. Sara just kinda nodded her head and smiled. He ask me, I told him that I feel like she has post pardom depression because she swears she don't cry a lot but I see her cry every time anyone says anything to her she tears up and even really cries, not to mention that she has been on bed rest the entire school year and had to do her school work from home, she has no job and all of her friends have became occasional text buddies and that is about it. She has to start back to school next week, be a mom, try to make adult decisions, pay bills and be in a relationship. It is all life stuff but stuff that you typically don't deal with at 16. At age 16 I had a job and school and rarely saw my parents because I was on the go, Sara is sitting at home wondering what life outside this box is like. It would depress me and I am far from 16. Sara has goals set, she is making plans and preparing for the future but at this moment she is feeling trapped to the point that just a few days ago she said to me that every time her boyfriend walks out the door to go to work she hates him because he gets to leave the house and she is trapped here. Not that she don't want to be around her family, but Sara is a lot like me and sitting at home 24/7 is not possible if we want to keep our sanity. The doctor (who has 7 children) understood the emotional roller coaster that being on bed rest and stuck at home has on a person combined with the extreme changes that have taken place over the last few months. He offered her some anti-depressant medication and a medical plan for what happens if this isn't the correct medication, and a plan for what happens with her metphormine down the road. He assured us that Sara doesn't need to stop the metphormine, she is on the right path to get on her feet with her health and her life. He also told Sara that with any patient, even the adult patients, having some one close to them come to her appointments was not only ok but actually essential. As he explained to her, with all the things that most people have going on, typically the patient won't see the signs of depression, signs that their medication isn't working. Even with the metphormine, Sara is very away of how the metphormine makes her feel and how she feels when it isn't working but she don't notice the need to sleep all the time and the emotional changes that I see in her when her metphormine isn't working. Needless to say I am extremely happy that this doctor took the time to listen and talk to Sara and me like he understood rather than blowing us off.

More projects

2011-01-02T08:47:00.000-08:00

In 2009 at Thanksgiving we were set to have a few people over when I had a sudden panic attack because I realized I had no place for anyone to sit and eat. We had a table that was fine, but the chairs to that table seemed to fall apart on a regular basis. Stephen had repaired them several times but it never failed a couple weeks later they would fall apart again. Not to mention that the kids where constantly dragging the chairs to their bedrooms for some unknown reason. So out of pure necessity we drug the picnic table in from outside. I cleaned it up and put table clothes on it. We missed having a picnic table outside but this was the perfect solution to the constantly breaking and always missing kitchen chairs. Eventually we purchased a picnic table for the kitchen and returned our outside table back to the barbecue area. The plan was to sand and stain the table right away, however that didn't happen because it was Easter or some other holiday and the table was placed in the kitchen the night before we were having people over. With procrastination being our number one asset we simply never got around to staining the table. As well when we bought the table it wasn't the season for summer goods, so we bought the last table that Home Depot had and some of the boards seemed a bit warped. We seemed to constantly be cleaning the table, but unstained wood seems to never look clean to me. Not only that, but Katie is going through this stage where she wants to draw all the time, I spend about half of my weekends helping Katie scrub her drawings off the walls and everything else she can find to draw on, even the TV screen and her body, oh man her body is the worst. She constantly finds Sharpe markers from who knows where and draws on her body head to toe so quickly that most of the time I see her clean then drawn all over and I never see the actual act of drawing ( she is the same with scissors and her hair!) This is what the table looked like yesterday when I started:

Yesterday I got all caught up on the sanding and staining of Shelby's bed and was waiting for the next piece, standing there with the sander in hand I kept looking at the table thinking how badly it needed to be sorted. I found myself sanding the table in between sanding and staining the bed. I had enough left over stain that I eventually got around to staining the table as well. This morning Stephen helped me turn the table upside down so that I could finish staining the legs. We noticed right away that the warped boards could easily be fixed. The table is put together with screws, except the support pieces, those had been put on with nails, which had pulled out and allowed the boards to warp. Stephen put some screws into all the support bars and wow all the boards are now level! Here is the odd part that we noticed yesterday and it has me puzzled. We purchased 3 inch wood screws, and every board that we purchased, and all the boards on the table are all 2 inch boards, it would stand to reason that if your screwing two 2 inch boards together with 3 inch screws then there should be an inch of wood between the end of the screw and the other side of the boards, however on the bed and on the table the screws came through to the other side ? This led to Stephen then having to grind off the excess portion of the screws. I have attempted a few times to capture the sparks that fly from the grinder. Today I got a pretty good shot of this.

I am not completely finished with the table, the stain we bought had polyurethane in it, however after I stained the table I re-sanded it. I wanted the grains in the table to show and that wasn't happening with this particular wood and the black stain. I am about to send Sara and Luke to Lowe's to buy a small can of polyurethane to finish the table off, but for now it looks like this: (be sure and ignore all the saw dust and junk on the floor under the table lol)

Ok so an update, I added two coats of Polyurethane, tomorrow I will lightly sand the table and add another coat of Polyurethane, the plan is to have a nice shine to it when I am done....

Happy, and very busy New Years

2011-01-01T21:00:00.000-08:00

For weeks now we have been looking for a set of bunk beds for Shelby's room.We have been desperate to get Katie moved in with Shelby, however as things go around here Shelby had a California King size bed in her room which didn't leave much room for a bed for Katie or any of Katie's stuff. It happens that I had the California King bed only because when the girl's and I moved into this house we moved here by our selves, with work, school and single motherhood we struggled to get moved. As a result the Saturday that we started moving I made several trips bringing loads of stuff here and left the rest to be moved one mini-van load every afternoon until I got it all moved. The first weekend I brought the girl's bedroom stuff, and all of our clothes and the electronics. I didn't bring my bed, most of my clothes, and most of the other household items, unfortunately everything that was there was gotten stolen. A seriously selfish person actually stole my bed, all my dishes and pretty much everything of mine as I had brought the majority of the girl's stuff on the first few trips. Someone actually gave me a California King bed, I suppose they felt sorry for me sleeping on a military cot lol. However once Stephen and I got married and he moved in and I got pregnant there wasn't room in our bedroom for that huge bed, a baby bed and all the computer and camera gear, so we got a smaller bed. At the time Sara loved the big bed so we gave it to her. Now that She has had Ayden she was having the same problem, a baby bed and all the baby stuff and all of Luke's stuff didn't leave much room for a huge bed. So Sara got a smaller bed and Shelby inherited the big bed. Now even though without the baby bed we could probably manage with the big bed in our room again, we love our, much more comfortable, smaller bed.

After searching for an affordable set of bunk beds for Shelby and Katie Stephen decided he could build a bunk bed for less than what most places are charging. Things didn't start off so great, we went to Lowe's and picked out all the supplies to build the bed, I left the store to move the car up to the exit door. I get the car pulled up and the hatch opened when I see Stephen come charging out of the store, he grabs the hatch and slams it shut, gets into the car and slams the door. Apparently our Debit Card had been declined, well our's and three other customers with ATM cards from our bank had been declined. My first action was to call the bank, but they were closed, so I call home and have Sara go online and check the bank, the money was in the bank, so we tried several ATM's. Three of our bank's ATM's and one of another bank's ATM's. Some said there was no funds in the bank, others said the ATM was not currently working. I tried again to call the various numbers for the bank and eventually got a message saying that they were having system problems. I mentioned to Stephen that it was strange that just a few minutes before we were able to make a purchase at the gas station. Stephen realized that the gas station had ran our card as a credit not a debit, So we went back to Lowe's with a check book and the ATM card. Running it as a credit card worked, however later in the day even running the card as a credit card won't work. Needless to say, calling the bank is my first priority for Monday Morning.

Once we managed to purchase the materials for the bunk beds, Stephen began sawing and chipping at the wood, as I began dragging all of Shelby's stuff out of her room to make room for the new bed. I figured this was the perfect opportunity to re-arrange her room, throw out a load of stuff that Shelby really don't need or use any more and maybe create some space for Katie to really move in there.

Notice all of Shelby's clothes piled behind Stephen, yeah all that was under her bed, in the bottom of her closet and any where else she could manage to dump it rather than put it away.

While Stephen was chipping away at the wood, the rest of us all found jobs to help the process. Anna (Shelby's friend) and Shelby took over sanding some of the pieces of wood and helping with Ayden (we had previously agreed to watch Ayden while Sara and Luke went shopping)

Katie spent her time entertaining Charlee, that dog is even more hyper than Katie so they make a good pair!

Go figure Shelby found time to get in a little Wii action while the rest of us slaved away cleaning up her super ditry room and building her a bed.

Once the girl's took over some of the sanding duties I began to stain the pieces of the bed, well I had a little ooooppppss with the stain on a stool, I am hoping that I can sand all that off tommorow.

By the end of the day Stephen and I were a bit wore out and ready for a break.

Once the bed was in place, and the cleaning was done, it didn't take long for the girls to make the bed look like it always belonged in their room! Now the really problem is to figure out how to get all that stain off of me!

Stephen made me cry..... because I was laughing so hard!!

2010-12-28T17:24:00.000-08:00

I l ive with Clowns

2010-12-21T21:23:00.000-08:00

Slim Jim Litter Bug!

2010-12-20T17:22:00.000-08:00

I don't go with Stephen every day to fly Willow, I go when work and school allows time. However I do get there as often as I can, typically a couple times a week. It seems like every time I go there I pick up trash, specifically these stupid Slim Jim wrappers. I have to think if it is the same trash every time then it is probably the same jerk dumping it every time. I personally don't like Slim Jims they seem to taste greasy but apparently someone likes them. I just find it rude and disrespectful to go to a public park and dump your trash. I just wish I could catch the little jerk. The park is next to the high school and elementary school so I suspect it is some kid cutting through the park to get home. If I didn't need that darn paycheck I would stake out the park and try to catch the little litter bugs!

I took a few more photographs today, I am really not happy with the lens or my camera's abilities. I have applied for some scholarships to help purchase the quality grade equipment that I really need for school, if I possibly was awarded a scholarship my first objective would be to upgrade to better lens.

Haylee and Steven's Wedding

2010-12-13T18:27:00.000-08:00

I love photographing weddings, wish we did more of it really. It's not the ceremony that I like nearly as much as the intimate moments with friends and family before and after the ceremony that I love to photograph....

Finally!

2010-12-09T18:56:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I used Stephen's camera and finally got a few good shots of Willow in flight

Impressed

2010-12-06T03:53:00.000-08:00

I often post blogs after drills, but typically it is all about how frustrated I am to have to go and to have to deal with the unit and the people in it. This weekend we had our yearly Christmas dinner with our family there and Santa paying a visit.

A couple of things really impressed me this weekend. First we had our dinner at the VFW, upon arriving at drills on Friday afternoon I found out that the Reserve unit was using the VFW on Saturday and we were using on Sunday; in a bit of tit for tat the two units made arrangements to have us put up the decorations and have the reservist to do all the pre-cleaning ( we typically clean the place and decorate on Saturday before the dinner). We don't have many decorations, it just seems that over the years bits and peaces have gone missing. I was a bit concerned that maybe the reservist wouldn't clean to well, so I ask if I could have the keys after their dinner on Saturday, thinking I would go and clean up if I needed to. When we arrived at pick up the keys at the appointed time, we found the reservist working together like ants in an ant hill, I was truely impressed at the job they did. As well they had brought in additional decorations which they offered to leave in place for our dinner. Thanks to Pam with the Ardmore reserve unit who provided the nice decorations and allowed us to enjoy them during our dinner!.

Second there was a soldier who turned up this weekend who has been having some personal struggles. I have said for my entire Guard experience that it sometimes boggles my mind how different the guard is versus active duty. When I was on active duty if a solider found them selves struggling in their personal life, rather it be financially, emotionally or in any other way, active duty army tends to pick up the slack and pretty much carry that solider until they are back on their feet. Today I watched some of the officers do just that for this girl and her family. With out going into all the details of the girl's life as I wouldn't want my life story told with out my permission, the girl is just struggling with some of the things that life through at you, it's not issues she brought on herself, its just life and how it treats people at times. I had spoken to her a few minutes before and then turn to go back to her to offer some information that I had suddenly remembered and thought could be useful for her. I found her surrounded by some officers in our unit who where taking names and notes and creating a plan as to how they could rectify a situation that neither she nor them had created. I suddenly was reminded that even in the National Guard, even when at times the guard and unit make you want to scream, when you really need this second family they truly are there for you. It made me proud of my unit and some of the people in the unit.

On another note here are a couple of pics for the day. Katie made best friends with a woman who had an i phone and could play Dora and Deago on it. Katie and Ayden both had a visit with Santa, later in the afternoon I took a couple more shots of Willow and there is a rare photo of me that I will include as well.

I figured out how to use Windows Movie Maker! To cool!

2010-11-23T02:50:00.000-08:00

Shelby

Long Week Ahead!

2010-11-22T18:55:00.000-08:00

So here are a couple of photos that I took of Shelby yesterday. We were doing a lot of rearranging of furnature, and cleaning up when I pulled down a box of Christmas lights and decorations. I am not sure what happened to all my Christmas stuff but I only seem to have outside lights left which is odd because we have't put lights up outside in a long time. Anyway I needed to do some photos for class, so Shelby was willing to get wrapped up in the lights and model for me. The instructor wasn't all that impressed with the photos but I actually like a couple of these. Hopefully this long weekend coming up we will do a family photo for the Christmas cards. We for some reason haven't done a Christmas card photo since the first one we ever did. I must post it in this blog because I laugh every time I see it! The dogs where acting so badly, every one was freaking out because of the dogs and it is probably the worste photo ever, however it is so funny that I love it!

Any how today has been a long day and I am sure it is just the start of a long week. We are struggling to meet deadlines at work with the holidays approaching. I got to work at 6:30 am and shortly after an email goes out informing us that the system will be up until 7pm and they would reallllyyyyyy be grateful if as many of us as possible would stay as close to 7 as possible! I staid until 6 and probably will again tomorrow, Wednesday just depends on our work load, hopefully it will just a regular 8 hour day. I suppose it is a good thing that we are doing Thanksgiving on Friday at our house because I will need Thursday to catch up on sleep lol.

Ethical Issue or is it just me?

2010-11-18T20:17:00.000-08:00

At the moment one of the classes I am taking is Photo History II. Every week we are studying various photographers from the past and some very controversial photographs along the way. This week the photo of discussion was this one:

Vietcong Execution, Saigon, 1968 Photo by Eddie Adams

Horst Faas, photographer and photo editor now retired from The Associated Press, remembers the day he saw Eddie Adams' Pulitzer Prize-winning photo of the execution of a Vietcong in 1968.

Running my Nikon eyeball quickly over a roll of black-and-white film from Eddie Adams, I saw what I had never seen before on the lightbox of my Saigon editing desk: The perfect news picture - the perfectly framed and exposed "frozen moment" of an event which I felt instantly would become representative of the brutality of the Vietnam War.

The 12 or 14 negatives on that single roll of film, culminating in the moment of death for a Viet Cong, propelled Eddie Adams into lifelong fame. The photo of the execution at the hands of Vietnam's police chief, Lt. Colonel Nguyen Ngoc Loan, at noon on Feb. 1, 1968 has reached beyond the history of the Indochina War - it stands today for the brutality of our last century.

Now on with my thoughts on this. Later in life Adams made two recorded statements about some of his photos. To understand my ethical dilemma please do visit this link and listen to both of Adams' statements:

http://www.newseum.org/warstories/interviews/mp3/journalists/bio.asp?ID=22

So in one statement Adams says that he was in a position to take a photograph of a US Marine that was extremely afraid. Adams states that this could have been one of the best photographs of his career, however he couldn't make himself take the photo because he felt that the fear would show so strongly in the photograph that people back in the US would mistake the fear for cowardliness. Adams goes on to say the marine wasn't a coward, everyone there was scared.

In the other statement Adams don't seem to understand why the above photo of the execution of an unarmed Vietcong prisoner was such a controversial photo.He didn't understand why people where upset about the image. Adams does indicate that he regrets that the photo caused a lot of hurt for a lot of people. Adams does say that he don't understand the upset over the photo. Adams reasons that it was war and people die in war.

So here is my reasoning in this. It is war, people do die in war, people are also afraid in war. Lets take out the idea that this was a war, lets just look at the images in question. The execution photo was a photo of an unarmed man, who's hands where bound behind his back, soldiers all around him. there was no way this guy could have attacked, hurt or killed any one, he was a prisoner. Being a prisoner is in so many ways a humiliating situation for anyone friend or foe. In the instant that the photograph was taken Adams indicates that he didn't even realize the shooter was going to do more than threaten the prisoner and was shocked that Loan actually pulled the trigger and shot the prisoner. Regardless of his status in the war, this prisoner had a family and he was a human who if put to death should at the very least be put to death in private.

Later Adams talks about meeting t the prisoner's wife.

Thirty-two years later, I met his widow, who still lived in their home in a southern Saigon suburb and mourned him. In a corner of the living room, behind plastic flowers, was a heavily retouched photograph of Nguyen Van Lam, who, as a Viet Cong, had the "secret name" (alias) Bay Lap. Yes, he had been a member of the National Liberation Front, the Vietcong. He just disappeared shortly before the Tet Offensive, and never came back.

Eddie Adams' photograph made him a martyr, but, no, she does not have and does not want to see the photograph of her husband's death. She will mourn Nguyen Van Lam until his body is found, she said in 2000, when the Vietnam government celebrated the 25th anniversary of the end of the war.

How exactly is it ok to photograph and publish the shooting of any human being yet it isn't ok to even take a photograph of a soldier who is scared? I don't get Adams reasoning. To me being held prisoner and shot point blank in the head, in a public street is more demeaning and demoralizing that a photo showing fear in a fearful situation.

I am not saying Adams was right or wrong in either situation, what I am saying is that he confuses me with his reasoning. Either you preserve some dignity for the subjects you photograph or you don't.

Messing around in LightRoom

2010-11-16T19:23:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend I downloaded a bunch of presets for LightRoom. I just googled free LightRoom presets and downloaded stuff from random sites. I had all these hopes of doing amazing things to photos. I was actually a little let down. I took a lot of time to download all those presets. Today I picked one photo and put various presets on it. I guess there are some interesting changes but not anything that I could see me doing in the real world. I suppose all the good presets aren't fee and that is why I haven't found any worth bothering with . Here are a couple of the presets that I found:

Happy Veterans Day!

2010-11-11T22:18:00.000-08:00

I said yesterday that I wanted to write a Veterans day blog, it's almost midnight and I am just getting to it!

I have to admit that I grew up with a very distorted view of who a veteran really is. I blame this on the man that I call Dad! I say the man that I call Dad because he is my step dad but really he changed his whole life to raise my brothers and me.

My Dad is a good 20 years my mother's senior so some aspects of our life was a little different than most kids who had dads that where in their 30's and 40's. My dad was actually retired when he married my mother. However his retirement simply didn't support a family. So Dad came out of retirement and opened a land scaping business. All of us kids worked with him in some form or another, mowing lawns, starting and maintaining flower beds, trimming hedges you name it we did it.

During the summer time, every afternoon, after a hard days work we often took the old truck out to a local creek and all of us kids would help Dad wash the truck down in this shallow area of the creek. Sunday was just about the only day we didn't work. In the cooler weather we often had very little land scaping and lawn mowing to do so we made ends meet by cutting and selling fire wood. Amazingly enough once apon a time I was pretty good at running a gas powered wood splitter and I could tell you by site alone exactly how high to stack the wood on the back of our truck to equal a rick of wood. I was an all around red neck country girl.

My dad didn't exactly think that the way I was being raised was proper for a girl, now remember he grew up in a time when women kept the home fires burning while the men went out and worked. In order to compensate for my lack of a girly life he enrolled us kids into a private school where I had to wear a dress every day and take lessons on being a proper girl.

My dad is a veteran and actually suffered some fairly severe injuries when his helicopter was shot down. As a result he was also a member of the local DAV (Disabled American Veterans). In another attempt to not raise a straight up red neck hillbilly for a daughter and I suppose for my brothers as well, my dad would take us with him to these DAV dinners and dances. I was required to wear a dress and everything. At least my brothers go to wear their boots!

All that leads me to why I blame my dad for my distored view of a veteran. For many years I went to these DAV dinners and dances, my two brothers and I where the only people there under the age of 30 and really my mother was in her 30's but the rest of the group was all little old men bringing their blue haired little old lady wives to dinner and a dance. One would think that as many dances as I was drug into by little old men I would at least have a vegue notion of how to at least do some old people's dancing. I have no idea why I never was able to learn to dance. However I did spend a lot of time listening to little old men tell war stories, nothing harsh just stuff they did but never any of the bad stuff really.

Let me clarify that I never thought that these men fought wars at that age, I knew that when they went off to war they where young vibrant men. In my mind though they didn't win the label of veteran until they reached retirement age. Even after being in the military myself and going on deployment I never saw myself as a veteran. It wasnt until a couple of years ago when my unit went on a second deployment and I was left behind due to pregnancy that I ever thought half heartedly about a veteran being younger than retirment age. When my unit returned and there were all these soliders that seriously where younger than me. Standing in formation it hit me one day, these young, right out of highschool kids are not just veterans but veterans of foreign wars!

I know times have changed so much since my dad's war days, and even from the days where I was a kid hanging out with little old men and their blue haired wives. Things have really changed in my mind though. I can't stress enough how amazing it is to realize that kids barely out of high school are serving our country and risking their lives so that we can all live in a free country.

Hats off to all the verterans out there, young and old, male and female.. and from the veterans to our families Thank You So Much for your support!! because with out it we could never manage the soldier's life!

Oh my geeeessss!!

2010-11-10T18:58:00.000-08:00

Today I seriously needed to rant before my head exploded, so I attempted a blog via moble blogging. This simply does not work unless you want to just put a line or two, if you text out a full blog then the text goes through as several text so what I ended up with was several blog post that didn't post in the correct order and didn't make any sense... so here goes another attempt.

I had an appointment at the VA Medical Center in Dallas today. Everything started off just fine, we didn't have to be there until around noon so we were able to sleep in a little bit. Then I was able to actually do my hair, most days I am lucky if I have time to brush it before putting it in a pony tail. The drive there wasn't to bad and overall things were fine.

Then we arrive at the facility pretty early, it was almost 10'clock when we turned into the entrance of the hospital. From that turn on I wanted to scream at people. First of all I have to wonder who had the bright idea to build this huge VA hospital in the middle of what appears to be a not so nice side of Dallas and include a parking area for ants? Really the parking lot is the size of an average size Wal-Mart parking lot and it is all divided up with these space wasting medians. We drove around for a good hour trying to find any spot at all. The thing is that there are VA employees on the lot at all times so it is fairly safe to leave your vehicle on the lot, if you choose to park outside the parking lot, well good luck and I hope you still have tires and no spray paint on your vehicle when you come out, that is the type of neighborhood the hospital is in.

Seriously the only way to find a parking spot is to hover around the hospital entrance and wait for a patient to exit the facility, then you must stalk the patient until they reach their car, get in and start backing out. At that time you better have all other entrances to the spot blocked or some over zelious driver may take the spot with out doing thier own stalking.

Do you have any idea exactly how hard it is to stalk an 80yr on oxygen and a walker? I know it sounds easy but I can put my car in drive and never touch the gas and still almost plow over most of these patients. What really saved the patient I chose to stalk was the fact that I needed his spot and if I ran him over I knew his car wouldn't be moved for days! So I crept behind him with my foot on the brake. The traffic in this parking lot is so bad that they have employees out there directing traffice. People are honking their horns, doing drive by yells at the traffic directors and at one point the traffic director got so fed up he yelled back. It was an insane mess seriously!

Once we fnally park and get into the facility, we had plenty of time, I have been attempting to get a new VA ID card but the facility I typically go to never seems to have a workind ID card machine. We found the general area where I thought I needed to go in order to get an ID card. I walked up to the desk and ask the lady if this was where I signed in. She was very nice, she went to find the sign in form and then explains where to sign and what blocks to fill in. During this conversation I ask "I need a new ID card, is this the correct place?" I said "I" need a new ID card right.. so why is it that the woman's reply was "well is he signed up at this facility?" I guess I had a blank look on my face because I couldnt even speak, it took a second but she realized I needed a new card and corrected herself. I just wonder though why is it that when a refrence is made to a veteran it is always assumed that the veteran is a man? There are a lot of women veterans out there so it is pretty much past time to recognize it as fact.

Now I have been to this VA before but I guess I have not went exploring very much. We wondered into this area where I just have to ask this question... who the heck decieded to turn the VA hospital into a flee market? I thought it was ok that they had an AAFES in the hospital, ok there isn't an AAFES on every corner and really I rarely shop at AAFES because the products are so over priced. This was more than an AAFES though there where venders every where selling products just like at a carnival or something. I suppose they annoy me because everything is so over priced, seriously that jewlery is not real so stop charging like it is! Not to mention the vendors who where selling military memorbilia never seem to have anything with my patch on it!

So we decieded to go ahead and check in as the vendors where a bit nerve racking. We headed up to the third floor and to the department where I had an appointment. I walk up to the desk... please excuse my descriptions because I suppose some could be offended however with out the descriptions you just can't get the real picture... I walk up to the check in desk and see this short, overly round black lady with a less than realistic looking hair piece... she already has the body language of some one who is pissed off that people actually think they should go to the check in desk to "check in" .. she looks at me like I am really am screwing up her day out out of her mouth comes an explosion of "What do you need?". Head bobbing, wig slipping, attitude all over her and all I could think was "man I didn't piss in your cheereos" . I inform her that I have an appointment for an ultrasound. Another explosion of head bobbing, wig slipping, eye buldging, hard to understand words come flying out of her mouth "You have an appointment here? Today?" I really wanted to say "um no next week I just wanted to check in early". Really lady would anyone bother dealing with you if they didn't have an appointment? So she takes my informaton and then some sort of explosion came out of her mouth that sounded like "k..sit down". I was taken aback, wouldn't the professional thing to say be " have a seat" . I wasn't sure that I had even understood her, so I verified that she wanted me to "sit down" and then just before I turned to go "sit down" I said "thank you" and turned to leave. I almost stopped dead in my tracks when I heard her mumble under her breath "ummmhumm" .She did this in such a way that it was as if she was discusted with all these ignorant people wanting her to check them in. I bit my tounge and managed to keep walking.

Ok I realize that not all people have a lot of customer service experiance and not a lot of people are customer service driven. However the truth of the matter is that no matter where you are employed at there is a customer somewhere that needs a service which created the need for an employee. I don't really care if you don't like your job, I don't care if you have had a really crappy day, or if you are in general a misserable person, you have a job because of that customer.. In this case this woman is employed because a whole lot of people gave up their time, health and family time in order to go out and make sure that you have the right to bob your head like a hood rat and wear cheap wigs. Even if you don't know how to act professional, at the very least use the manners that you know your mother and grandmother attempted to teach you!

After the VA we stopped in Dallas and took a few photos, so here are a few of those.. maybe I should write a Veteran's blogg tommorow!

Chicken Salad Finger Sandwiches

2010-11-09T15:50:00.000-08:00

With the holidays quickly approaching and the typical work spreads, family gatherings and finger foods I thought I would share my favorite finger sandwiches.

I don't often use a recipe and typically can not give very good instructions on creating a dish. However I often produce dishes that people claim to love. This particular dish Stephen and I photographed a wedding of a co-worker of his and was invited to eat with the guest. They had the very best Chicken Salad sandwiches that I have ever tasted. I wanted the recipe however we never could get it from anyone that was helping to put the wedding together. I decieded that I could make an attempt at making my own version because I really thought I could taste everythign that was in the salad. So this is a list of what all I put into it. Now before you think it is an odd combination of foods, I swear every time I make this people look at me like I am crazy, then once bullied into "just tasting it" then can't get enough.

Ranch Dip mix and sour cream mixed just as the dip instructions say
Canned Chicken
Chopped walnuts
grapes (cut in half)
one chopped green bell pepper
onions
salt
pepper

Now I just mix this stuff into a bowl and keep adding stuff and mixing until it looks and taste like a typical chicken salad, I don't really measure stuff or any of that, the only advise I have on measuring and mixing is that if you have to much Ranch dip, the dip overpowers the other ingredients so use enough but don't go over board with the dip. Serve this up on some rolls and I promise people will love it.

Video from My Phone

2010-11-07T17:58:00.000-08:00

So during a very frustrating drill weekend I found some free time in the afternoon. Wal-Mart was having a big sale on costumes...90% off! How much better can you get! I mean a $19 costume was now $1.90!! I got a Katie this Tiger Costume that she calls "Kit Kat", a super cute witches hat with a huge neon green flower, a Wow Wow Wubbzy and a Dorthy costume. The boys got a How to Train Your Dragon and Transformers costumes. Along with these the older kids got a bag full of pink, blue, purple and glitter hair sprays. I walked out with those costumes and other stuff for about $20, which would have been the cost of one costume!

The kids just love the color hair spray. During the summer time I have walked through stores with kids sporting all sorts of hair colors. Typically I die their hair any color they want ( except black) on the last day of school. These dies tend to last maybe half the summer. I figure if they want a crazy green, blue or purple hair color its an easy and short term way to express themselves with out doing any perminate damage and without doing anything dangerous. So it has became a tradition. This last year we sort of though if we put in some really blond streaks then they could use colored gel or spray to have a different color every day if they wanted. This worked out pretty good. As well these sprays have came in handy at their birthday parties. I just love giving them some dress up stuff that helps them feel like an individual, have a little fun and expand their imaginations. Kaite seems to love costumes, she wanted to try each of them on right away. This Tiger costume seems to be her favorite. She had to go to each person in the house and annouce that she was a "kit kat" and growl at them! I just love it!!

Good Job Sara!

2010-11-05T15:50:00.000-07:00

So we have been on Sara to get her driving license for a while now. She didn't pass the written test and after that she just seemed uninterested. I think she figured if she didn't pass she never would. Finally today she took the exam and passed it! I was so excited until Stephen text to say he met her at the tag office to pay the $26 for the permit. The rules have changed so much since I was 16. At age 15 and 1/2 I took drivers ed, but it was an elective at school. The school had a vehicle and during one of your elective classes you studied then after a couple weeks we took turns driving. However when Steven (Sara's brother) took drivers ed I had to pay $150 and drop him off at school at 6am, now more recently and at a different school, when Sara took drivers ed it was $50 and she had to take it during the summer. Even though it was a better deal at Sara's school and I didn't have to get up and drive her to the school, I wonder what happened that the school no longer offers this as an actual class during school.

At the tag office today it turns out the fees for a permit have shot up from $26 to $49.50. As if that wasn't enough of a let down, they also informed Sara that she has to wait 6 months to take the driving portion of the exam and she has to have some one 21 years of age or older in the car while she drives. Even a few years ago Steven only had to wait 30 days and the co-driver only had to be 18. I was really disapointed about the changes. Mostly because Luke has the car that we really want Sara to practice drivng in, he leaves for work at 3pm and Stephen and I don't get home until after 4pm. This means the car isnt here for us to take her driving in and Luke can't take her because he isn't 21.

People can say what they want about statistics and accadents and all that, but does the people in charge of making these rules take into consideration that some of us have a life that don't revaulve around getting our 16 year olds on the road? Do they have any clue how helpfull it is to working parents to be able to send their teenager for milk or to pick up their siblings? As a parent I worry about my children any time they are not in my sight, however I also love being able to depend on them to do random task for me. I can honestly say that since having Luke live in the house I take advantage of his ability to drive and do some of the running around that we can't seem to get to sometimes.

I personally drove around with my 18 year old brother who was the most irresponsible person I have ever known. I did fine, he got home safe when he was drinking and there was never an issue. I also only waited 30 days after my written exam to take the driving exam. I don't understand the changes at all. To me it just seems like more work for the parents than anything.

With all that said, I am super proud of Sara! She really was reluctant to take the test because she has a really hard time with comprehending what she is reading, she may know the answers to the questions if you ask her verbaly but when the question is written she seems to go blank. One of the exminers told me that if I would bring her up there as soon as they open he would take a written version of the test ( most people take the test on a computer) and go into a room with Sara and verbally give her the test. When I attempted to do this the man who told me this wasn't there and the woman refused to do it, she said the office was to busy and that her verbal test was no different than having a computer read the questions. However it is different, a person verbally asking you the questions can ask the question in a different form so that you can better understand what it is they want to know. I am posative about this because the school has done this for Sara for a couple of years now. However with a reluctant examiner Sara had to figure out how to pass the test on the computer. Good Job Sara!!

Upgrade or was that downgrade?!?!

2010-11-02T22:02:00.000-07:00

Typically I tend to use what ever I have until it is no longer usable, I am not a huge fan of "upgrading". I only get a new cell phone if my phone is seriously not working any more and then I only "upgrade" to what ever they have for FREE upgrades. It annoys me to get a new phone and have to learn to us it.

The same goes for all the technical stuff in our house. For a really long time I was struggling to get any school work done at all because I was working on an older laptop and refused to "upgrade". I had all my programs, I had all my saved documents and photos, it isn't that I don't think I will like the newest versions of stuff, it is all the headaches that come with it.

When I bought my last laptop it came with Windows Vista. It took me about five minutes to know I hated Vista and about a week to know that I really hated it. Then I uninsulated Vista and put XP on. I stuck with XP until recently when Stephen had to build me a computer because all those programs on the laptop finally became to much for a computer that was never designed to handle the sort of software that I was using on there. Actually he built this computer with XP on it then a couple weeks later when I think maybe I just got all my stuff moved from the laptop to the desktop, Stephen strolls in with Windows 7 and instead of doing the upgrade he did a complete install. I spent weeks trying to get every thing back on the computer and then because a lot of the software that I have was purchased through the school as student copies, I can only have the stuff activated on two computers, well it was on his, and then it was on mine but I didn't know he was going to do a complete install and so I didn't get to deactivate the software before it was wiped out. It took me a week to finally convince a rep from Adobe to do what ever it is they do to allow me to do another install.

Now I have drug my printer out of the closet and am attempting to get it working for one of my classes. I put my printer in the closet three years ago and refused to get rid of it because I personally love the HP Deskjet F3335 All-in-One. I scans, copies, faxes and used to print a decent photo, decent for my use any way. I only put it away when Stephen moved in because suddenly there was no room in the house. He wanted to use the stuff he brought from the UK and I kinda thought that in the grand scheme of life, putting all my things away to make room for his wasn't much to ask considering how much he left behind to come here. However I went to purchase the ink for his fancy printer and realized that his takes 7 ink cartridges at $35 each where my printer takes two cartridges that cost $35 for both. I quickly decided to use my own printer for this class! However the nozzles need something done and the cartridges need to be aligned but stupid Windows 7 won't allow me to install the program to do this stuff. Typically you could go to the printer properties and do it but the printer came with a specific program to do these types of adjustments. Now I have staid up until midnight once again and not touched my home work because I can't get the darn printer sorted.

Stephen attempts to help, but first of all I need to know how to sort this stuff out. I mean what if I need to do this stuff and he isn't here to do it for me, he goes out of town for work, and some times back to the UK on his own, and well I need to be able to do stuff for myself. Stephen's version of showing me how to do things is to tell me to get up and let him do it, he even says for me to leave, go have a shower while I do this or some other bs reason for me to just leave the room. We have the biggest fights ever over this issue. When I ask for help, I want him to come in the room and stay here until the issue is sorted (this means actually in the room with me) and walk me through the steps. Helping me is not doing it for me and insisting that I not even watch or have any idea what the hell he did. It really irritates me to be dismissed when really I want to understand how to fix the darn problem.

Needless to say, I am thinking upgrading to Windows7 was more of a Downgrade!

Oh and I forgot about the Internet "downgrade" that we recently received without asking. Stephen and I have been pulling our hair out because our previous less than great DSL Internet suddenly became about as terrible as dial up. Yesterday we get a letter in the mail from our Internet provider who is proudly announcing that they recently "Up Graded" their servers and equipment. They proudly brag that our service should be something like three times faster than it was before. This apparently didn't go over to well with Stephen considering out Internet has been moving at a snails pace. Stephen calls the company up and ask them why their "Up Grade" was a serious downgrade for us. Their excuse was that because they Up Graded to this new equipment the equipment that they provided when they installed the service is now out of date and we will need to purchase new equipment. Oh and go figure if we purchase our equipment from some one other than them they wont promise that our service will work at all and if there is any issue with the service at all they wont assists us if we didn't buy our equipment from them. What kind of crap is that, first of all shouldn't they have warned us before hand that we may need equipment, or even after, but they didn't tell us at all. I would have thought that considering the equipment we are using came from them, they would have sent out a letter saying we may need to upgrade! However this is the only provider in our area unless we want to pay several hundreds of dollars to have satellite Internet installed! So I guess we are upgrading rather we want to or not!

Willow's Pace

2010-10-30T23:09:00.000-07:00

I think Stephen is disapointed that Willow hasn't hopped to his fist yet. In some ways the time we had with Zoie flew by so fast that looking back we some times tend to think that she was completly trained the day we trapped her. I think with the situation that Zoie was in she was a little more willing to do what Stephen ask of her, however when we take a closer look at the logs that Stephen kept with Zoie she was only a couple of days quicker to do the things Stephen wanted her to do.

Zoie was most likely desparately hungary and probably in some pain from the first day we had her, this made Zoie more willing because she needed to be. I don't think there will ever be a day when Katie can walk right up to Willow on the perch, Willow isn't going to put her head down to be petted, however Willow is a different bird in a different health situation than Zoie was. I know that every bird is different, but with that in mind I also think that having a sick hawk from the start ment that Stephen didn't really get the true experiance if a wild hawk on his fist. Not to say that Zoie was not an amazing hawk, she was and if either of us could have saved her we would have moved mountains to make it happen. However animals like people tend to be less agressive and have less spunk when they are suffering.

Even though Stephen seems to be letting this slower pace of training get to him, I am thinking this is probably the correct pace, the pace a wild healthy hawk learns to trust a human.

Tonight Stephen was attempting to put Willow on the perch, I wanted to take a few photos of her but she deffinately has her own ideas and attitude, instead of sitting on her perch she flew at Stephen then straight for me. I was trying to focus the camera and take a photo but it all happened so fast that she was about to step on the perch then she was suddenly banging me in the head with her wings and back on Stephen's arm. I had to stop and think to even realize that she had flown at him first, then me then circled and headed toward Stephen about the time he had pulled in the leash enough to force her to go to his fist. She didn't hurt me or even scare me, mostly I was upset I missed capturing her attitude with my camera.

Once she had her hissy fit and let us know she wasn't pleased she settled down and got on the perch. Then she was at least willing to give a good stretch to get sme bits of food. She may not be training up as fast as Zoie but I think she is getting there at her own pace and time. The hard part is working in the time for Stephen to spend with her. It is diffictult to manage our time to include all the things that we need to accomplish in a day, but I think if Stephen can learn to live with a couple hours less sleep he will manage it fine. I on the other hand may not deal so well, a sleep deprived Stephen means a grouchy Stephen lol..

Catching up...

2010-10-30T01:42:00.000-07:00

I sort of feel like I have been running behind for weeks now. Between Stephen trying to trap a hawk, looking for a car, Halloween creeping up on us, overtime at work, school and the VA I just can't seem to keep up.

Recently I posted a blog about banks and how I was just fed up in general with them. Well we opened an account with a new bank and Stephen moved his paycheck there, I for one haven't had time to move mine and for two we have stuff like a house payment and auto insurance that is auto drafted from our old bank. Moving my pay would mean moving my pay from my full time job, moving my drill pay, moving my GI Bill pay and a couple of other direct deposits, plus contacting the drafters to have them move their drafts to the new bank. I first of all don't have time to be bothered, and second its a tricky deal to move it all. For instance today was Stephen's second payday since he moved his pay to the new bank, and for the second time we woke up on payday and couldn't find his paycheck. It wasn't showing in the bank, I hadn't checked before leaving for work, imagine my embarrassment when I swiped the bank card at the local Love's and it was declined! So here is the tricky part, once I move the direct deposits, I have to worry that if I move the drafts the drafts may come out before my deposits start hitting the bank, apparently it takes a while to move the deposits and I may even get a paper check between the last deposit in the old account and the first deposit in the new account. It is to much hassle for me to worry if my payments will go through.

I have had the old bank account for years and it never fails, my deposits hit the bank at midnight and I never for a moment considered that a direct deposit wouldn't hit the bank at midnight. Last payday his employer mailed a paper check to our house, we opened the account on this policy that if you sign up for direct deposit you can open an account with out putting any money in.We did this because we where to lazy to go to the old bank and get the funds out to open a new account. Last payday when Stephen finally located his check he just deposited it into the old account because the new bank is a 20 minute drive and the old bank is a couple blocks away ( every minute counts when your overwhelmed with to many things to do). So this morning was suppose to be the first direct deposit. Thank the Lord I had my old ATM card and money in the bank to cover my purchase! It is such a hassle to change banks... no wonder I haven't moved my check lol.

Aside from dealing with bank moving we finally purchased a car. A 2004 Pacifica. I can't stress how much I love this vehicle, give me a couple years and I will probably be begging for an upgrade but at the moment I am obsessed with this adjustable gas peddle. Even more so because I got out the manual and figured out how to program the keyless entry. It is now programed so that if Stephen unlocks the car with his keyless entry fob the seat, mirrors, radio and gas peddle moves to his saved settings, and the same when I unlock the car with my fob it all adjust to my settings. Now how cool is that! Not to mention that it is now getting cooler out and in the mornings pretty darn chilly. I am am loving these heated seats! I tend to be shivering when I get in the car in the mornings and put the seats on high heat, then about 1/4 of the way to work my butt is on fire! I do it every morning and every morning when I am crossing the Oklahoma/Texas line I start wanting to jump out of the car because it feels like my ass is on fire!

Since my last blog Stephen finally trapped a passage hawk, we named her Willow. Honestly I tend to love trapping, especially if I am driving because well its just fun. However after two or three months of it I was wore out. I am super happy that he caught a keeper. Now to the hard part! Stephen makes me laugh because typically my alarm goes off at 4:30 am. I hit snooze until about 5 am. Then from 5 to 6 I am getting myself ready for work while constantly trying to get Stephen to wake up and get out of bed. However now that he has a hawk he has actually been so revved up that on some mornings he is out of bed before my alarm starts going off! Now I would just laugh at him and hit snooze but this early rising of his is killing me! He is so tired by the afternoons that he wants to come home and crash for two hours before he does anything. This means I am doing homework while chasing down a two year old who seems to think that any and every thing she sees is fair game for her to snoop in. She thinks it is so very fun to take all her clothes out of the dresser, empty the silverware out of the drawer and create messes. Her worst offense at the moment is her desire to be an artist! I have now cleaned all the crayola off of the freezer three times, off the wall twice, and the marker off the TV a thousand times. Today I was trying to get the kids all ready for a Halloween carnival that the school does every year, I look up to see that Katie had my deodorant and in lightening speed has covered the entire TV screen with it! All the while Stephen was sleeping off his early morning tryst with Willow! I was ready to scream at the both of them by the time we left for the carnival lol. However I must admit that Willow is a beautiful hawk!

On another note, I got a few cool shots of the kids in their costumes and of Sara, Luke and Ayden. I have tons of photos to do for class but these where a few non class related photos that I took just for fun. I have to say Stephen and Shelby are to funny for words some times, Katie is the cutest strawberry I have ever seen and don't Sara look great for having a baby just two weeks ago!

Now about the VA, I have finally relented and realized that I needed to sign up with the medical facility and attempt to get stuff sorted out. I wasn't sure I was going to be pleased with the facility near me because the first visit I felt like the doctor was only interested in the possibility that my gall bladder needed removing. However this week when I returned to be informed that the ultrasound didn't show an issue with my gallbladder, the doctor apparently decided to get to the bottom of the various issues and has schedules some test. He also took a closer look at this pain in my shoulder that he thought was gonna be gallbladder issues and informed me that I have a huge knot of muscles there that is probably causing that pain, I had attempted to get him to feel this knot last time I was there but he was sure it was gallbladder related. That knot in my muscle has been there for years now, the thing is I hate taking pain pills because I am scared to death of being addicted to them. It has came to the point that I am willing to take some pain meds, or do what ever if he will just make it go away, I insisted on the lowest dose possible and will see if this helps. In the mean time I now have a couple of appointments to go to and will see what happens from there. In a lot of ways signing up and going to the VA is a huge disappointment to me, I have been managing to deal with the medical issues that resulted from deployment, well I suppose it would be more accurate to say I have managed to ignore the issues. I am not really able to ignore stuff any more and in some ways I hate that, if I could ignore things then I wasn't having to deal with it. However there is only so much physical pain that I can ignore, then it is time to give in and sort it all out. I did walk out of the appointment feeling like the doctor is attempting to sort things out.

I seriously think he started attempting to sort things out after we had a discussion about a doctor that no longer works at the VA. I had actually attempted to use the VA as soon as I came back from deployment but every time I went in to see my doctor he wasn't there and I would have to see a nurse or some other doctor that was covering for him. The nurse actually informed me that because I had insurance I was wasting the VA's time by using their facilities, I wasn't pleased with her comment but I did what I typically do and ignored her. However the last time I went to the VA my doctor was once again not there and I had to see this other doctor that was covering for him. I already had a bad taste for this doctor because I knew that a week before she had treated a friend of mine, during my friend's visit a nurse burst in the room and informed this doctor that there was a man in the hallway having a stroke. The doctor walked out of the room, leaving the door open, informs the man's wife that she needs to take him to the Dallas VA because he is having a stroke and this office don't deal with such matters. The wife (an elderly woman) tells the doctor that she has never driven outside this town and don't know how to get to Dallas, the doctor informs the woman that she better figure it out or her husband will die! She then returns to the room, closes the door, states " I should have probably called him an ambulance because I don't think he will make it to Dallas" but didn't make any attempt to actually call an ambulance! Then she pulls up my friends shirt to push and poke on her tummy, spots my friend's belly button ring, states "You have your belly button pierced, you know you probably have HIV from that!" she then yanks down the girl's shirt and storms out! She didn't complete her exam or anything. So needless to say I wasn't happy about seeing this doctor.

I entered her office and sat down, she demanded to know what it was I needed. I informed her that I had already had several visits where a PA had indicated that I needed some test and he would schedule the test but however he had not actually scheduled any test, I also informed her that I realized that she couldn't really verify specific information about my medical history but I at the very least needed to take back documentation to my unit to indicate that I have came for X amount of visits and that I was actively seeking treatment. I tried to explain to her that this was my 5th scheduled visit to attempt to see my doctor in order to get the treatment process started because eventually the military would just kick me out for not getting treatment. Her response to me was "I am not giving you anything for your unit, I wont assist you in attempting to stay in the military, your a female and shouldn't be in the military any way" that really set me off and I pretty much cursed her out, left and found the patient advocates office and gave her a piece of my mind, then attempted to speak to the director of the hospital but was refused access, possibly because I was beyond pissed and the desk clerk could tell.

With all that story told, I had a conversation yesterday with my doctor and during the course of the conversation I explained to him that after several attempts to see him I had cursed out "the crazy doctor" and never came back to the VA. He looked at me sort of like he knew the answer but just had to ask, then said in a questioning tone "the crazy doctor?" I didn't even get her name out of my mouth before he was shaking his head and about to burst out laughing, he even said "yep she was the crazy doctor" when he realized I had gotten into it with her he looked back at my records. The expression on his face was priceless, he stammered out " you ummm ..did you really.. ummm" I didn't have to ask I knew what he was looking at, it is clearly noted in my file that I told Dr. James that she could "kiss my fat ass". As I informed him, she didn't bother to note what she did to provoke me or why I was cursing at her. This I think was a turning point for me and my doctor, it is pretty clear by his reaction to her name that he knew she was a nut case and probably wasn't his favorite co-worker and I would say he enjoyed hearing that someone cursed her out! lol Now I have appointments to get my stuff sorted and a doctor who thinks it is very funny that I cursed out the "crazy doctor".

Flash Backs

2010-10-20T18:37:00.000-07:00

So for the last couple of weeks every afternoon when we get home from work we spend a couple hours looking for a hawk for Stephen. Some days there are none to be seen and some days we trap a couple old haggs and release them. However during our driving around we have a lot of time to talk and see venture down roads we have never been down or roads that we haven't been down in a long time. I also found myself realizing that I miss listening to the radio and music. The last car I had did have a radio but if I forgot to remove the front from it the battery on the car would go dead (some wiring issue) so I never used it for fear of forgetting to take off the front. I heard the above song and thought you know this song really does remind me of the years that I was growing up.

Yesterday we came up to this sign that said Enos >; My first thought was "ohhh I haven't been to Enos in forever" We took the road to Enos... This is a spot in the road really and the only reason I even know about the area was because years ago in high school my cousin and I made a lot of trips to Enos to go to church, swim at the beach and hang out with people, I can't say friends just people that we knew.

It was also in this little spot in the road, several years later that it dawned on me how very much our views on people change over the years. When I was in my mid 20's it just happened that I found myself in this little church that I had attended when I was a teen. On this particular day I found myself standing there talking to this guy and his wife. The guy seemed so out of place, because I had known him when I was 16 or so and first of all while I was driving off to Church he was parked on a back road in the most awesome 1965 Chevy known to man, smoking weed and banging random girls.The mention of Church would have made him snort and loose the lung full of smoke he was holding in but absolutely no way would he have given thought to going to Church.

My daughter's father had worked with him a few years earlier and was standing there having this conversation with this guy. I know his wife had to think I was a nut because I didn't know her at all but I knew her husband pretty well. The entire conversation I was not speaking but instead staring at this guy and my mind was going 90 to nothing, I kept thinking "omg what was I thinking at 16 when my friends and I thought the sun rose an set on this guy and his very old chevy truck?" I mean at age 25 I am staring at this guy that used to make my heart beat out of my chest and thinking "really he isn't cute at all and I don't know what we thought we saw in him". I walked away from the conversation not knowing even one word that had been said, I was in total shock that first of all he had changed so much that he was now a dedicated Church goer but mostly I was shocked that I ever found him attractive in any way.

It is pretty amazing what we find attractive at 16 verses 25 and even 35, my taste is so different now and what attracts me is so different. I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I knew these changes take place, I was just shocked to realize at 25 that so many changes had taken in both this guy from my past and myself.

And we have a Baby!!

2010-10-13T17:37:00.000-07:00

So Sara checked into the hospital on Sunday night at 7 pm to be induced. Unlike when my doctor induced labor with Katie, they started the induction right away. I personally checked in at 9pm and started induction at midnight, Sara had her first induction pill placed within about half an hour of signing in. Not that this early start helped her much. She checked in dilated to a tight 1cm. Four hours later they placed a second induction tablet and she only barely a 1 & 1/4 cm. Technically Sara should have received a third induction tablet because four hours after the second tablet she was still not dilated beyond 1 & 1/2 cm. However when the nurse attempted to check her, Sara's water broke which meant no more induction tablets. Time to move on to Pitocin.

Later the next morning the nurse explained to us that Sara had a dysfunctional uterus, in other words she would have back to back contractions for about six or eight minutes, contractions with out any break at all but then she would have a three or four minute span with no contractions. Pitocin typically corrects this issue.

Looking at the very poor drawing above of a contraction chart, Sara's contractions where the bottom example. When in labor it is important that all the contractions peak and then decline to a stop for a second or two. The uterus needs that break in order to then peak on the next contraction. However Sara was not ever able to have functional contractions. She actually delivered with these insane contractions.

The doctor actually started to do a c-section several times there where three things that prevented the c-section. First Sara and I were very adamant that a c-section was only an option if Sara or the baby was in danger. For me this insistence was based on the fact that I didn't want for Sara to have a surgery and go through a longer recovery unless it was absolutely necessary, not to mention that Luke's mother and I wanted to be in the room for the delivery. Sara didn't want the c-section because she didn't want to stay in the hospital for several days and trust that Stephen, Shelby and I are capable of baby sitting her dog lol.

Every time that they raised Sara's Pitocin level to try and regulate the contractions the baby's heart rate would drop. Now every time I have been in the delivery room, either for myself or with other people having babies ( and it has been a few times) the baby's heart rate may drop some and the mother may need oxygen to help sort this out, I wouldn't say normal but maybe common would be accurate. However this time the baby's heart rate was dropping below what is common.

The doctor said several times that she thought we needed to go ahead with the c-section, but every time she said it Sara would suddenly dilate a cm or so and the doctor would agree to wait another hour or so (the second thing that prevented the c-section).

To make matters worse Sara has an insulin issue. Sara's OBGYN's physician assistant always takes time to remind me that it is insulin resistance not type II Diabetes, her OBGYN never says a word when I refer to it as Type II Diabetes and Sara's regular doctor actually told me that she officially has Type II Diabetes, now I am no fan of the PA so there is no changing my mind that the technical name is Type II Diabetes. To clarify Sara produces to much insulin and her body can not function with that much insulin with out a high amount of sugar. The problem is that the more sugar you take in the more weight you gain, which is not only bad for a teenage girl's self esteem, but the extra insulin and extra weight brings back a condition that Sara was worn with where her heart beats way to fast. Interestingly enough the OBGYN is the doctor who discovered the insulin issue when Sara was 12 and started her on metphormin after two years of begging her doctor to find out what the problem was I finally got a referral to the OBGYN and we got to the real issue. It seems that the OBGYN seems to have forgot Sara's history (I can understand why with so many patients) However she had Sara not take her medication, she kept saying she was worried that the meds would drop Sara's sugar to low during labor. The problem is that stopping her meds is what causes her sugar to get so low. Half way through her labor during all the contraction issues they discover her sugar is dangerously low, hence Sara was passing out between contractions. Every one kept saying that some women fall asleep from the anesthesia and exhaustion. Exhaustion was thought to be the problem because her epi was only working on one side of her body so they thought she was exhausted from the pain of the contractions. but I kept saying I think she is not able to stay awake between contractions because she hasn't had her meds. They decided to check her sugar and with in minutes she was being force fed a Popsicle and a different IV solution with extra sugar was being put on her IV pole.

It frustrates me so much when doctors don't listen to what your trying to tell them. They may have a medical degree but a person knows their own body, and a mother who has struggled to get their child healthy for six years tends to know the signs when things are not going right.

Interestingly enough once her sugar level was fixed Sara staid awake between contractions!

This also leads to the third reason why a c-section was a last resort, if the epi isn't working then in order to have a c-section Sara would have to be put completely under during the c-section which the doctor, Sara, Luke and I were all against.

Eventually Sara managed to push through the dysfunctional contractions, she pushed at least double the amount of times a woman would typically push per contraction. 27 hours of active labor and about an hour of actual pushing and she delivered Ayden Rylee Aytes on October 11, 2010. He weighed in at 6 lbs 11 oz and19.5 in long at 10 PM!!

Now we have another battle to fight. I had to go back to work today, so we left the car at the hospital so that if Sara and Ayden were released from the hospital before I got off work, Luke could drive them home. However they were informed that because of Sara's age she had to have a parent there to meet with CPS and if CPS couldn't get out to see us before the discharge time then CPS would be visiting our home. Now had Sara delivered a under nourished or drug addicted baby or been at the hospital the whole time with out any parents or family at all or if either her or Luke had ignored the baby in any way at the hospital then I could see this. However considering that they couldn't take the baby out of the room for a minute with out Luke standing at the nursery window until they brought him back. From the moment that the baby was born Luke has been mother hen over him, I couldn't get Luke to shower the entire time Sara was in labor because he said if he heard a sound that made him think something was happening he would run out in the nude to make sure he didn't miss anything. He went out to the car to smoke a cigarette and Sara was in real pain. I called to say Sara wants you to come back in. Sara's sister just happened to be looking at him out the window and laughed because when the phone rang, before he actually answered he jumped out of the car and was running back to the hospital as he answered the phone. Luke took better care of Sara and Ayden at the hospital from check in to check out than most home health nurses do for their patients. It really annoys me to see these two kids trying so hard to be parents and doing all the right stuff and still be required to have CPS involved because of Sara's age. I know some older parents who need some CPS attention they should spend their waisted time checking on them instead of investigating the care of a baby who is possibly the best cared for baby ever.

We won a couple of ribbons @ the Grayson Co Fair

2010-10-07T18:12:00.000-07:00

SO Stephen won best of show for this photo, basically he won the top ribbon over the whole contest!

I didn't even really want to submit this photo, for some reason it isnt my favorite, however Stephen and Luke seem to really like it and it was already printed so I submitted it and darn if I didn't win first place for exposure manipulation!

Drill Weekend

2010-10-03T15:56:00.000-07:00

I am finally home from the long drill weekend. Most of the time the only good thing about three day drills is the fact that I get paid more for those drills.

We were traveling about 4 hours away from where I live in order to go to the range. The unit took hummers and convoyed down to Camp Gruber. This isn't my favorite place to go because it is pretty much out in the middle of no where. However I have had a few really good drills there. This month however it was the last place I wanted to be. Sara is close to having her baby and I was really worried that she would go into labor while I was there and I wouldn't make it back in time. Luckily the unit sorted out the issues and I was able to drive myself to Camp Gruber. This is actually the first time in 11 years that I took my own vehicle instead of going in the convoy. I found it quite nice having a ride to the store or where ever I wanted to go. Realistically it wasn't that big of a deal because the only place to go was a Shopette that had next to nothing in it.

I left on Friday morning a couple hours before I really needed to. I wanted time to stop by the store for a few necessities, I always try to give myself some extra time in case of traffic or road construciton and I also wanted the option to stop and take a few photos if I saw something of interest along the way.

This additional time afforded me the opportunity to take a few photos of what appeared to be a derailed train just outside of Camp Gruber. It appeared that the pieces had been there for quite some time. I found it strange that the train company hasn't bother to pick up the piece's and at least take them to a scrap yard.

Even though it is technically trash, I found the old rusted pieces to be interesting.

Once I finally stopped with the photos and was heading back to the truck, I noticed my boot felt strange. So I stopped to have a look. I have been requesting new boots for almost two years. A year ago when we went to this same range I complained loudly because the soles where coming off of my boots and I had to wear another pair that are to small. The smaller boots left huge blisters on my feet so Stephen used some gorilla glue to put the soles back on. However that gorilla glue didn't work to well because the soles were starting to come off the next day. I have walked around for almost two years with the soles of my boots showing this gap between the sole and the actual boot. Well Friday the sole of one my boots came completely off all the way up to the toe, there was about an inch of sole actually still attached. I hobbled back to the truck and drove through the gate at Gruber and headed straight to the Shoppette. Now years ago that little shoppette actually sold boots and some clothes. Unfortunately they no longer sell boots unless you want to order them and wait for delivery. I wouldn't wait for delivery so I opted to buy a package of super glue that had a photo of some one gluing together a portion of their tennis shoe together. Good enough I would give it a try.

As I was looking for boots or glue every time I took a step the sole of my boot (which is rubber) would smack against the tile floor and make this crazy squeaky squeal sound, the sound would echo through the entire store. Typically the shoppette which does not offer a lot doesn't have a lot of customers, on Friday there were about five people standing around in there talking while I was flapping and squeaking up and down the isles looking for glue.So in an attempt to not flap and squeak I was dragging my foot across the floor like a crazy person.

Now I personally would be laughing really hard if I had seen some one in my position, I wasn't exactly laughing though. It was to funny but I was embarrassed and just wanted to run out of the store. Instead I drug my flapping boot up to the counter and bought myself some super glue. I then drug my boot out the door and stopped right there in the door way to sort this crap out. I mean dang the parking lot is half a block away and I can only drag my foot for so long before some one is gonna ask me if I a out of my mind. So I opened two little tubes of super glue and squirted them onto the detached sole of my boot and then stepped down on it. Just then I realized that I would need to stand there for a few minutes until the glue dried. So I pretended to be sorting out some stuff in my shopping bag for a while until I felt like the glue was probably set. Lucky for me the sole of my boot is still on. I am now thinking I should have got a couple extra tubes because the other boot needs to be glued back together as it currently looks like it may come off soon.

Once I was able to walk with out causing a flapping squealing scene I went on over to the barracks where we were going to be staying and started looking for people from my unit.The long weekend had began!

Gruber. The ranges never work properly and most of the time at least half of the people do not qualify. The pop up targets either don't pop up or no matter how many times you hit them they don't fall down. This weekend was no exception. We fuddled through the range, cleaned our weapons and fell into bed exhausted. Knowing that my time in the guard is limited, promotion points are well pointless for me so once I verified that I didn't need to qualify I took my bolo and opted to not refire. Instead I spent the refire time taking a few photos.

I loved this flag, the flag is flown at the range to indicate that the range is hot and live rounds are being fired. Regardless of it's meaning the flag was pretty amazing on this very windy day.

This morning once the convoy headed back to the unit, those of us who drove ourselves there staid behind and cleared the barracks and turned the keys back over to the full time staff at Gruber. Then it was freedom time to head back home. I did stop on the way home for one last set of photos. I am only posting one photo from these. I am not really sure what this plant does but we have driven by there early in the morning when it is cold and there is a huge amount of steam coming off of the plant. I always wish I had my camera with me.Today it was to late in the day to get the steam but I still stopped and took a few shots.

There was one thing this weekend that got my mind to wondering what the heck! So before I end I think I must just go ahead and address this. Friday during our evening formation when they informed us of the next days order of events the 1st SGT informed us that every one needs to be very careful about what they say on their face book or MySpace or any other similar site.This warning was issued because apparently some soldier went on his/her facebook and blasted their unit and named names of officers and aired their opinion. Now before I voice my opinion let me state clearly that my unit recently got a new Commander and I don't know at all, the only thing I have heard about him is that he is extremely family orientated that is it. I also barely know my 1st SGT, I have had to go to him with an issue and a question and both times he handled the situation or answered my question with no problems. I honestly have no reason to blast either of them and any reference I make in this blog about my Commander or 1st SGT is being made in a hypothetical term not a specific real situation.

With that said, I have to think that as soldiers, most of the people that I know in the military has at one time or another been deployed, spent time doing state side missions or supporting their country in one way or another. It is our job, what we sign up for and what is expected of soldiers. Most of them do this with out hesitation. However if soldiers in general are defending our country and the rights that are afforded to Americans then how in the hell is anyone going to take away one of America's basic rights from the very people who are maintaining those rights for all of us. Do we not all have freedom of speech? Are we not all allowed to speak our minds on our own time? I mean isn't it called Myspace because it is my space and place that I can do with as I pretty much please? If I feel that my commander is a dumb ass isn't it my right to express that opinion on my personal web page, or any where else I feel free? As long as I am not posting anything that is illegal then don't I have the right to post all day long and express my opinion? I personally haven't ever blasted my unit on any of my pages, but if ever my commander or 1st SGT or any other person in my unit gives me cause to call them a dumb ass or a selfish ass hole, well expect to see it in flaming letters on here and on every other page I have. And if the military wants to argue with me about it I suppose I would be the person to challenge the opposition and request to see written law that proves I don't have a legal right to express my opinion. Just my random thoughts on the subject.

Frustrated and Exhausted

2010-09-30T18:21:00.000-07:00

This may be some sort of blog rekindeling for me .A long time ago on another blog site i was a devoted blogger and had something to say every day. In some ways when that site went down I didn't want to blog any more, eventually I gave in and found this site but I havent been as devoted to it. A lot of this has to do with the fact that before Stephen and I got married we could write blogs and keep each other up to date on every thing, now we are able to just fill each other in at the end fo the day.

Any how, I am in a grouchy mood today for a few reasons. I finally got a week off of school and it has blown by so fast and I managed to recogmize a mile long list of things that need doing but that was it, I didn't manage to get any of it done. I have been so exhausted from working all day and staying up all night with home work that a lot of times I don't even notice how much laundry has piled up or that the cubards are empty or the lawn is knee high. This week I wanted to get every thing caught up but I was so exhausted I ended up just crashing every afternoon and not getting any thing done really. Its frustrating and honestly how much more of the daily life stuff can I push off on Stephen before he gets so over whelmed that he can't cope. Not much more I am sure.

I am also frustrated because every since 2003 the National Guard has been telling me that they are going to medically discharge me from the military due to injuries that occurred on deployment. However the military is great about taking forever, they have started the process a few times and then staff would change and the issue would be dropped. I haven't pushed the issue about any of it because if I can just bide my time until I get my 20 I will be happy to quietly take my retirement letter and move on with my life. In the last year some one in the unit decided that this needs to be sorted and finalized, so every couple of months I get a letter telling me I am being issued orders to go to the Med Review Board, so I go but I never get paid for it, orders means getting paid, nor does the unit bother to exchange those days for drill days. Instead I am taking these days off from my job with out pay and wasting my time. There is always another form or another appointment. The forms never seem to be done on time. The unit seems to take a month or two to fill out a form and only bothers to do it if I email or call them every week.

It's now drill weekend again and we are going to convoy across the state to go to the range. My daughter happens to be pregnant, very pregnant. She is due October 21,but she is diabetic which typically leads to early delivery. The doctor said a week and a half ago that she didn't think that Sara would go to her due date and would maybe go two more weeks. I am freaking out that she will go into labor with me 4 hours away.
Sara also has this heart condition that causes her heart to beat to fast. I have heard so many horror stories about women's hearts stopping when they are in labor so needless to say I am in a panic about it. I want to be right there the whole time, not that I think I am a doctor and can fix her but I want to at least be there to yell for a doctor if something goes wrong.

So any way I text my NCOIC and explain that I am freaked out about going on a convoy that far away and not being able to get back if I need to. She told me that I could drive my personal vehicle to the range that way if I need to leave I can. Today I was thinking do I drive straight to the range or do I need to show up at the unit for formation. The thing is the unit is not even in the general direction of the range. My NCOIC says she isnt sure so I should call the unit. I can't call from work so I got on my phone and sent an email and ask my question. The guy comes back saying that I haven't received approval to drive myself to the range. I replied back saying that I had contacted my NCOIC about it and she had informed me that it was all sorted. He actually emailed me back being rude about 1SGT not approving it. So I text my NCIOC and ask who she approved it with and told her the unit was saying that I can drive to the range. She never answered me!

The whole thing annoys me because appartenly my NCOIC gave me permission to drive there and never bothered to get it approved from the approving authority, and never bothered to inform me that it had not really been approved. Then the clerk had to be rude about it, If I do what I am suppose to and go through the chain of command there is no need to be rude to me because my NCOIC didn't follow through with her part of it. Its not like I was askign to not go at all which is really what I would rather. I mean what mother wants to be 4 hours away from thier pregnant 16 year old unhealthy daughter when she could go into labor at any minute. Not this mother for sure!

I eventually got the number for the approving authority and text and got permission to drive but by the time that I got this approval I was so frustrated. I hope the long drive in the morning gives me time to cool off because going to drills with an attitude probably isnt a good idea. A few years ago I was just not ready to get out of the military or give up that part of my life, recently I am just ready for them to finalize the papers and send me on my way. I never thought I would want to be out of the military, it used to be such an important part of how I definded myself. I really think I feel ready to get out because of stupid stuff like this stuff today. I guess I want the guard to be more like active duty, where your unit is your family and you always have each other's back. Imagine if I had not text or emailed to ask a question, come tommorow morning I would have been AWOL from drills!

Car Dealerships! oh and a couple pics I took recently

2010-09-29T18:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had this appointment at the VA in Bonham. We recently bought this car from an individual and for what we paid it is an ok car, however after driving a mini van for many years I am just not feeling comfy in this car. I need a family vehicle. So as we where going to Bonham any way I decided that we would stop by Bonham Chrysler and see what pre-owned cars they had we actually found one that we loved! It was a

2004 Chrysler Pacifica SUV

This is actually the very vehicle we looked at and even test drove for the day. The sales guy said take it to your appointment and when you get back we will have the financing worked out. I said to him specifically that I was not willing to pay any money down, I simply wanted to use the car as a trade in for the down payment and then make payments. Now this is something that I have done in the past and on vehicles that to be honest where not worth trading in but if the car lot wants to take them then great.

We returned with the above vehicle and was informed that financing was all sorted we just needed to speak to the finance guy. The sales guy says first let me run over the numbers with you. We are asking $13 and change for the vehicle, but have brought that down to $10 and change, we will give you $3 for the car and bring that down to $9. Now a warning bell went right off for me because I know the car isn't worth $3 and I also know that if you take 10 which is what they brought the price down to and subtract 3 that leaves 7 not 9 however I just listened and waited for the finance guy.

Ok in the past when I have traded in a crap car and not made a down payment what the finance people have done is gave us say $1500 trade in for a car that is really worth about $500, they tell the finance company that they gave us $500 and then we put up the other $1000. I have done this several times over the years. However this finance guy wanted to say that our car was worth $500 and they would say they where giving us $3000 but we would have to come up with cash for the $2500 difference. This is well to be blunt ass backwards from any other deal I have every heard of, what would be the point of telling the finance company that they gave us $3000 trade in if we actually put up the $2500. The whole point in doing this scheming on the trade in and down payment is so that the finance company thinks you put cash down when really you only traded in your car. To be honest I was texting with Misty and only half way listening to the guy, but I sat up straight and took notice when he said that we would be putting up the $2500. I ask him to explain again so I could be sure of what I had heard.

Needless to say we opted not to because I had already said I wasn't giving them the car and cash. So we leave the lot and head home. On the way we drove past a couple other car lots, smaller less BS car lots. There happens to be the same vehicle sitting at one of the lots only it is the prettiest blue. So we stop just to ask. This lot don't really do trade ins, they want a down payment. So we ask about the Pacifica. Theirs happens to be a 2006 model, less miles and they are only asking $9 something for it. Stephen and I just looked at each other with this "good job we just avoided getting screwed" look. Now we are going over the finances and attempting to come up with a down payment and keeping the car to give to Sara and Luke. However the fact that this car is almost $4000 less than the one at BC really got us a little irritated.

We didn't look on the net before we stopped, it was a last minute "hey lets just see" kind of deal. Today we went and looked at BC website and I will be darned, they have that vehicle that we test drove listed at $9,999 so why the HELL did they try to tell us $13! I mean isn't that false advertising or something?

It is really my own fault because a couple years ago we had a few dollars saved and wanted to go to this same car lot's cash only lot and pick up something fairly cheap to get Stephen started out. This was when he first moved here and didn't have a car or a job at the moment. So needless to say car payments where not an option with no job. They had all these $2000 cars on their site but when we got there they refused to show us anything less than $5000 and when I ask specifically about cars on their site that said $1999 they came up with excuses about how those cars where on lots in other towns. I ask could they call those lots and verify that the cars where there so that we could go see them, they refused to do so. Now I explained to the guy that Stephen had only been here a couple of weeks and that he didn't have a job yet and that until Uncle Sam gave him a work permit he wouldn't have a job so I needed a cash deal, he still wouldn't let me see the cheap cars. I should have known better than to ever go back there. I can assure you that I won't be doing it again.

I just can't understand a business being ran that way, I mean haven't they ever heard that you are suppose to listen to the customer and find out what their needs are, what their abilities are and go from there? This place is all about screwing you over and pushing you into something that you can't afford or something that you said you are not willing to do! I really hate pushy lying sales people!

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Now on another note here are a couple pics that I took when I went with Stephen to look for a hawk.

Banks and Customer service,do they even go together any more!?

2010-09-18T13:58:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been so fed up with Banks in general, today it got to the point I had to get rude with some one.

To start off my dislike for banks First United Bank has been my bank for years now, I had a joint account with my first husband and when we divorced I took the brunt of some pretty messy check issues in order to get my paycheck (which was being held at the bank until one of us took full responsibility for the account). In the end I spent about three years chasing beer checks across Bryan county because I had no idea he had written the checks. Once it was all said and done I was pretty over the idea of a check book. Divorce can be messy in a lot of ways but the bank accounts I think was the worst of it. By the time I had it all sorted and all the checks paid up I was pretty protective of my bank account. I check it daily and make sure that things are as they should be.

To make me even more anti-banks my X knew our account number by heart, and he had a friend at the bank. During those first couple of years when he didn't pay any child support at all if I ever ask him to help buy anything for the girls he would quote me my bank balance and assure me I had the money to pay for their stuff. He even once showed me a print out of my bank statement. Turns out his friend at the bank was telling him what ever he wanted to know about my account.

After Stephen and I were married over a year someone at the local branch offered to password protect my account so that not even a bank employee could access my account with out the password. They offered this because Stephen had refused to be added to my account because of my X constantly knowing what my balance was. Now I receive an email any time that some one tries to access my account with out the password. That first week I had over 20 emails, the emails have drastically reduced in the last couple of years but I still get one every now and then. It amazes me that five years after the fact he still attempts to check my bank statements.

A few months ago Stephen discovered Photoshelter, a website that will host photography sells and do most of the hard parts for you for a small fee. Well it was working great until First United started blocking the payments to Photoshelter. We couldn't figure out the problem because the money was in the account but the payments where being declined. It turns out that a lot of banks are blocking all credit card transactions from several states, a few countries and specific merchants because of a large amount of fraud coming from those states.

We have been on the phone repeatedly with FU trying to get them to process these payments. I was getting irritated with the whole issue but I do understand why they are doing it. I however feel that if a customer calls and says look I authorize this payment to this company then the bank should allow the payment. FU insist that they can not lift the block for any reason.

It all came to a head the other day when Stephen spoke to his two sons and they ask him to add minutes to the pre-paid phone that he gave them. The transaction was declined, even after Stephen spent an hour on the phone to the UK trying to sort it all out the phone company couldn't get the transaction to process. Turns out transactions from the UK have been blocked as well! This was the last draw with FU for Stephen.

Stephen has gotten so fed up that he has opened a new account with Vision bank and as soon as the ATM card comes in the mail he will be moving his pay check to there. Vision bank seems sure that if we call and authorize a payment through a blocked agent that they can lift the block for one transaction at a time. This means us calling once a month but that is better than having out account frozen because the bank is to lazy to spend the time to authorize the payments.

Now I am reluctent to end a long time account with FU because it is simply comfortable to stay where I am at. However Stephen's name is on that account and mine is on his new account at Vision bank. On Thursday my X decied to make a partial payment on his very delinquent child support. I haven't complained much about his lateness or partial payments because I realize how difficult it is to go from Active Duty Army pay to a crappy job at Dish Network that pays about a third of what the army pays. Any way I was in Durant and near Vision bank so I figured I would deposit the payment into Vision and keep part of it to take the kids for tacos. I pulled into the drive through. and put the money order, a deposit slip and my ID into the little tube and send it on. I noticed that there is no other cars in the drive through at all, and about three employees mingling around inside the drive through window. As soon as my tube hits their desk all of the employees disappear. About 15 min later I start getting frustrated and text Stephen "IDK about this bank, I am the only one in the drive through, three missing employees and 15 minutes they didn't even say hello when they got my tube" . Another 5 minutes and some guy strolls up to the window, drops the tube into the machine to send it back to me and walks away before the tube ever get st to me. Now at least FU tellers say hello to you when they get your tube and tell you thanks and have a nice day when they send the tube back. I mean come on a little politeness isn't a lot to ask for.So even though Vision bank gives you 3.6% interest on your checking account and they seem to think our payments will be put through I am really not happy about the lack of customer service skills that their tellers seem to offer.

So to top off my bank frustrations we received a check in the mail a few days ago from a customer wanting to purchase a disk. This morning we had to got to Denison to pick up some photos that we had in this gallery. So Stephen says oh we need to cash this check too. Now typically we don't deposit customer checks into our account. The reason behind this is if the customer writes us a check and it don't clear the bank, if I have put that check into my account I am then responsible for giving my bank back that money. So I take customer checks to their bank to cash them. This customer wrote a check from American Bank of Texas. We pull up to the drive through window, put the check that was made out to Stephen Olner Photography and Stephen's military dependent ID into the tube and send it on. The teller leaves and returns to inform us that because the check is made out to a business and we don't have an account with them then they can give us a Cashier's Check but not cash! What the Heck! I was not happy and said look it is not like the check is written to Wal-Mart, it is written to a buisness that is his name and you have a government issed ID proving he is that person. She refused to cash the check so I ask for a manager. The teller leaves and returns to say that I can come inside and see a manager but the manager refuses to come to the drive through window! What!!!! So I drive around and go inside. I was heated by then because the gallery closes at noon and we where going to not make it in time to pick up our photos.

I explained to the manager a little banking 101, the purpose in having a checking account is so that a person can write a check to a business or individual and then the business or individual can present the check to the bank and get their money. The manager insisted that because we don't have an account there, the check is written to a business and we have no proof that we are the business owners then they can't give us cash. I explained to her in less than nice tone that first of all the check is written to Stephen Olner Photography and the Stephen's ID, which was issued to him by Uncle Sam clearly indicates that he is STEPHEN OLNER! How much more cut and dry can it be, come on now its not like the check was made out to some buisness that didn't include Stephen's name.

This manager says to me that until I work in the banking industry I dont understand what all people will do to commit fraud. Hello she don't know what my background is. I see fraud all the time at my job, I also have delt with people giving me checks for a long time and not always are they valid checks. This would be why I don't cash customer checks through my account!

The woman starts listing all this proof that we can provide, she wants some form that proves we work under an alias name...what the hell this isnt an alias its the darn name his partents gave him when he was born!!!
I informed her that if I wanted her to have my personal information then I would open an account with their bank but as I don't choose to have an account with their bank a government ID is more than enough to prove who Stephen is. This woman actually had the nerve to say "so why don't you just take the check to your bank". As I told her, my bank is not in Denison but I am and I don't cash customer checks through my bank I cash them through the bank it is written from.

I turned to Stephen and said we are not taking any more checks written on American Bank of Texas, not that I can understand why anyone would want an account with a bank that offers no customer service what so ever. The woman's eyes about popped out of her head, she opened her mouth to say something but seemed to be lacking for anything to say and finally came up with "that is a matter of opinion" ...whooo hooooo as if that bothers me at all. I really dont think I will be accepting checks from their bank ever again.

All the while Stephen is standing there arms crossed watching as if he wants to burst out laughing at this woman who is close to seeing me get really mad. Stephen invites her to look up Stephen Olner Photography on the net. She finally accepts this web site that by the way don't even have his photo on it, as proof that Stephen Olner Photography is a real company.

Now when we got home this manager had sent Stephen an email to say how sorry she was that it was such an inconvienance but really isnt that a bit late as I had to waiste all that time and be late getting to where I needed to be.

I really just wonder if banks in general give a crap about customer service at all. I mean really people depend on their banks to take in money, make payments, feed their families and put gas in their cars, all through what ever bank their hard earned money goes into. If we as customers attempt to make a payment to a business or individual we shouldnt have to worry about if the bank will honor a valid request when the money is in the bank. Banks may be essential in this day with direct depsites and all but I am ready to close them down and go back to the days where we all deal in cash!

Well Darn

2010-08-19T21:02:00.000-07:00

Well the last photos that I posted, some of them have became a real controversial issue for us. I have been going on photo shoots with Stephen for several years, as long as we have been married. However not long after the shoot for the photos in my last blog, we went on a couple more shoots and then all the sudden Stephen gets a phone call informing him that I am not allowed on photos shoots any longer. No explanation other that at the photo shoot where I took the last photos there was a woman there who felt as if Stephen is distracted by me. Now if that was the case why hasn't he been distracted by me in the past? The person making the call has now stated in emails that he never hired me on to take photos and does not want to deal with me in any way. He refuses to give a direct answer as to why or what the issue really is. I believe I know what the issue is but when ask directly he refuses to answer the question.

He has launched a very personal attack against me, so much so that Stephen informed him that he simply can't work for him any more, as well if he has specifically excluded me and my work maybe they shouldn't use the photos of mine from that shoot. We had informed them that some of the photos where mine however we wanted him to choose the photos he liked not photos by the person he likes so we had said once he chose the photos we would then inform him who took what photos. However in light of the situation we gave him a list of the photos that I took and ask that they do not use them. This caused a huge issue, I believe that he thought Stephen took those particular photos, imagine his shock when he realized he had chosen some of my photos for his article! However he should have been smart enough to not bash me until after he published the photos, instead he did it before he published them and that allowed me the right to retract usage rights. Needless to say we will miss the work not only because of the money but because we enjoy the people and the events.

This whole thing was a shock to me, not because some woman didn't like me but more because no one is willing to say exactly what the issue is. I personally never liked the man who is bashing me, I would have washed my hands of him a long time ago if it was not for Stephen. My personal dislike for him came when he discussed specific business details about another photographer with Stephen. My view is if he is bashing her to you what is he saying about you to other people. This really seemed unprofessional to me and I didn't want to be involved with anyone who would do this.

When ask specific questions about his attack on me the man's response was "Love is one thing, good business is another. You might think about separating them" so basically he don't think that we should be working together. I personally don't want to be in business on my own, I don't think Stephen does either.We like any budding business have things that we would like to improve on, overall though we have a routine, we know who does what best, we know how to fill the gap for each other. I can't imagine ever taking another photo if it meant excluding Stephen from the the whole process!

So with all that said, we are pushing ahead, moving forward and finding new outlets for our artwork.

Just a few photos

2010-07-28T18:37:00.000-07:00

So I have been photo crazy lately with school and tagging along with Stephen. I have taken quite a few lately. The bee stuff is from a current class, the cowboy stuff is from me tagging along with Stephen. Even though I took the cowboy images while tagging along on Stephen's shoot, I used them for one of my assignments in class. I can't really edit any of these photos until after I post them to my classes. I can't wait because the cowboy images have little spots on them where the sun was reflecting on the grass, I really want to edit those spots because I just love these silhouette photos.

updated~just a little fun stuff

2010-07-18T21:07:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I posted this new logo for Stephen just because I thought it was funny. But I realized I was missing something so here is a new updated logo for him, it has all the elements, the photography, his bees, a redtail hawk and the two dogs that he has some how brought into the house.

Emma is on the left, Lilly on the right, the camera is what he currently uses "Nikon D2X", the bees are photos that I took of his bee hives, the photos in the film strip are actuall his photos and the hawk is Zoie the first night we had her....... I dont know if it could be any more Stephan than this lol!

Hot Summer Days

2010-07-17T21:23:00.000-07:00

So I didn't get the trampoline photos the way I want them, I may try that again later in the week when Luke (Sara's boyfriend) has the day off. However I did manage to take a few photos of the kids playing in the water, well the kids and Stephen lol.

Is he out of his F'ng Mind!!

2010-07-17T11:24:00.000-07:00

SO Someone emailed us the following statements made by our current president! I have a lot to say but will post it at the bottom after his statement!!

THIS MOST UNBELIEVABLE PRESIDENT?

HERE IS HIS RESPONSE WHEN HE BACKED OFF FROM HIS DECISION TO REQUIRE THE MILITARY PAY FOR THEIR WAR INJURIES.

Bad press, including major mockery of the plan by comedian Jon Stewart, led to President Obama abandoning his proposal to require veterans carry private health insurance to cover the estimated $540 million annual cost to the federal government of treatment for injuries to military personnel received during their tours on active duty. The President admitted that he was puzzled by the magnitude of the opposition to his proposal.

"Look, it's an all volunteer force," Obama complained. "Nobody made these guys go to war. They had to have known and accepted the risks. Now they whine about bearing the costs of their choice? It doesn't compute.." "I thought these were people who were proud to sacrifice for their country, "Obama continued "I wasn't asking for blood, just money. With the country facing the worst financial crisis in its history, I'd have thought that the patriotic thing to do would be to try to help reduce the nation's deficit.. I guess I underestimated the selfishness of some of my fellow Americans."

Please pass this on to every one including every vet and their families whom you know. How in the world did a person with this mindset become our leader?

REMEMBER THIS STATEMENT.... "Nobody made these guys go to war. They had to have known and accepted the risks. Now they whine about bearing the costs of their choice?"

Now I usually refrain from cursing in my blogs because it can be offensive to some people. However I really have to know if we have a president that is simply out of his F'ng Mind!! First let me say I am in the military and absolutely volunteered to enlist, I a woman there is no way I would be drafted into the military. However I volunteered and even went on deployment with out complaint because I was assured that if I suffered injuries or life changing illness the government would be there to help me recover and return to my life. How dare this pissy ass man who hasn't bothered to enlist in any military services or go on a deployment to defend our country try to say that we should all now take out private insurance to cover our medical bills. I don't know one person who would volunteer to enlist if they knew from day one they would be bankrupt attempting to pay for the injuries they encure during deployment!

Now don't take me wrong, I don't think a person has a right to enlist, take part in the education benefits and then complain about deployment. You enlist, then when you get the call you go no questions ask! That is how it is, it's what you sign up for, but you do it knowing that if you serve your country then your country will take care of you afterward. This has to be the most offensive thing this man has said so far!
I could rant about this forever but I will leave it for now!

Trial and Error

2010-07-16T20:30:00.000-07:00

I took these photos yesterday, however something went crazy with the cord that attaches to the camera and allows me to snap the picture with out touching the camera. For some reason it was snapping photos with out me pushing the button. So I took it off and took these photos, but during my attempts to figure out what was going on I totally messed up the settings and ended up with super soft photos, so I am really not happy with the results. Tommorow the plan is to try again and see if I can fix the problem. However there were a couple photos that I thought "if I can do this only sharper I will be soooo pleased" so here are the trial and error shots and maybe tommorow I can do some better ones!

Home from Drills

2010-07-11T20:53:00.000-07:00

So I had drills this weekend. I was sitting there filling out a form for some one and one of the admin people walk by and spot me, he poked his head in and said "so you know your reporting on Monday for three weeks of orders right?" Ummm nooooooppppeee Had no clue! With school starting back, the unit being an hour away and me never sleeping I can't add two hours of driving to my day not and go to school so thank God they cancled the orders and life goes on as normal.

All weekend I regretted not taking my camera, the clouds where amazing all the way there and all the way back. I will take it from now on! for today though I set this link up so that I can post photos for classes. http://latrell.photoshelter.com/

Picture of the day

2010-07-04T13:52:00.000-07:00

I always say I want to post a picture a day, but for some reason I never get around to it.. That's life my life with photography, kids, work, military and school.. I just need to set aside time to do it every day.. now where do I put the sticky note to remind myself to do it? .. Maybe one day I will have enough free time to post lots of photos every day!

The above Photo is the top portion of a lifting foot bridge in Salford Quays England. We took a lot of photos in England and every time I go into LR to attempt to sort them I run into that lack of time issue again, but I do keep stumbling onto photos in the "England" file that I just love. This is one of those. I am less than happy that we where walking across this bridge and I stopped, even made Stephen stop and said to him "this would make an awesome shot" and some how he took better shots of this view of the bridge than I did, but there are a lot of reason's for that, one he has been doing this a whole lot longer than me and two he is taller than me. One may think this is just and excuse but honestly your view point is different from every spot around you and six inches higher or lower makes a difference. Now my problem is to sort out how to make up the difference!

Even though I was aggrivated that I found this shot and Stephen produced it better than me, I am still quite happy with this photo. The thing is...it's a pretty cool shot in color, black and white and even in this antiquic look.

Really wish I had of had more time and a light tripod in England! I say light because my father-n-law gave us a tripod while we where there ( we didn't have enough packing space to take one with us) but it was very heavy. I have however used it since coming home.

Possibly in the next couple days i will have time to pick out a few more "England" shots to post...

Today's Photos

2010-06-27T16:33:00.000-07:00

As I have completely redesigned my page I thought it was time to post a photo or two.

Bar Room Politics

2010-05-15T15:49:00.000-07:00

So yesterday Stephen gets a call from this guy who seems to think he spoke to Stephen the day before about some bees that he and his friends had found in a tree. Stephen assured him that he had not received a call but he would be glad to come have a look. Turns out they are in a community that is so close you don't realize you are leaving Colbert before your actually in this community, really close in other words. The guy says call when you head over and we will meet you and show you where they are.

Last evening after work we called and said we are on our way, the guy says oh just stop out in front of this bar and we will come show you. So ok I am thinking that the tree is behind the bar, but no the guy was in the bar having a few, and had already had a few.

Partly because it was raining and partly because we really didn't want to cut open a tree full of bees with a half drunk guy standing there who maybe wouldn't be able to run away if the bees where really aggressive, we made plans to come back this morning around 10 am. Safe time right 10 am wont be to much drinking going on.

We call the guy back this morning and say we are on our way, he says meet him at the bar........... So we did, this time there where three guys. They went with us to where the tree was, as we are standing around watching Stephen cut the bees out of the tree I found myself listening to these three guys discuss every day life really. Even though I am not much for being at the bar all the time, I find the bar room politics to be funny at times. Here are a few of the discussions they got into:

First the tree was at the back of the property, but at the front there was another tree that had these tiny white flowers in it. We had to go have a look because the three amigos where insistent that some bee activities where definitely taking place in this tree. They where very right, as you approach the tree you can hear thousands of bees buzzing around. No the discussion takes a funny twist when two of the guys want to debate rather or not the sound was coming from a hive of bees inside the tree attempting to cool down their hive or was it coming from the literally thousands of bees buzzing around in the tree on those tiny white flowers.

One guy insist that you can only hear bees when they are cooling the hive, another argues that there may very well be a hive inside the tree, however the noise you hear is from the bees buzzing around the flowers. It as comical to see these guys in their 60's having this discussion each repeating the same information over and over, and each time one would state his argument they would look to me for confirmation. I kept saying I can hear a bee any time it buzzes by me, but when they are cooling their hive it is just louder and more noticeable, in other words your both right you can hear the bees buzzing in the tree and in their hive. I guess because I wasn't taking either ones side, they where compelled to re-hash the topic a few times. You really had to witness this discussion in order to find it as humorous as I did, because your missing out on the facial expressions and body language!

Then there was this discussion on rather or not the queen bee can fly. One guy insisted that yes she does fly, another insisted that no if the queen leaves the hive the other bees carry her. Again they rehashed their points and opinions a few times and looked to me for confirmation. I kept telling them that a queen can fly, she just don't very often, she flies to mate and flies to swarm off but other than that she stays in the hive tending to the brood or making more brood. They would say ohh and aaahhh and then rehash their points.

They where funny and kept moving from one topic to another and back to the first all the while repeating their points and insisting that the other was just drunk and didn't know what he was talking about.

The third guy that came had apparently worked on a farm at some point where they had a hive or two. He felt kind of smarter than the other two because he had a little experience with bees. So he spent a lot of his time assisting Stephen. Apparently yesterday after we had looked a the bees the boys got to discussing the issue at the bar, the guy who was assisting Stephen had said he knew a little about bees and wouldn't be scared to come rob some of the honey. It seems he left the bar, went to the tree and stuck his hand in to get out some comb with honey to take back to the bar. Only a few short minutes later he returns to the bar with a small piece of older comb that didn't actually have any honey in it any more. However according to the guys he had 50 bee stings! lol I doubt that he actually had 50 but he apparently got stung getting some empty comb from the tree.

Today at one point he was keeping the smoker going for Stephen and of course he didn't have a bee suit and felt brave and wanted to be involved. Me and the guys look up to see him standing there with the smoker, watching the bees buzz to him, as each bee approached he would puff a little smoke at it. You have to picture this grown man with a smoker doing a little dance trying to hit each bee with a puff of smoke. It was to funny for words! One of the guys says to him "man I got up at 5am this morning and started drinking, what time did you start? Cause I am thinking it was before I started"

First of all who wakes up at 5am to start his drinking for the day? Second of all maybe it is true that smoker guy was a bit tipsier than 5am guy! This cracked me up again.

When Stephen pulled out the first comb and put it into a rack, there was some left over, of course the guys wanted to try the honey. At some point of one of the guys gave their dog some of the honey. From that point on the dog's owner kept telling them to stop cause the dog had eaten enough but the dog wasn't having it. When they wouldn't give her some comb and honey she started licking it off of the tree!

Then Stephen got to a point where there was a huge limb and we didn't know how much farther up the comb was, so they went to the other side of the limb and cut into the tree to find that there was no comb, so the theory was that the comb stopped some where under this huge limb.

The guy who showed us the hive yesterday announces that if Stephen will cut a line on the back side of the limb he will go get the back hoe and use it to pull the limb off. Not a bad idea..The owner of the tree and land says oh don't go after the back hoe, just get the tractor. He then gets confused and thinks that his buddy has has Stephen to cut the limb down the middle instead of at where the limb connects to the tree. It appeared that his confusion then got Stephen confused he had this look like "what the heck do they want?".

So as back hoe guy goes off to get the tractor and a chain that weighs more than he does, I attempt to explain where the cut needs to be made. After some hand demonstrations every one seems to be on the same page and the cut gets made. Then it was a debate over where to put the chain! lol

Finally the limb comes off and we realize that the honey and comb stopped at the bottom of where the limb connects to the tree. Job done all the honey is out and placed into the hive and the bees are slowly making their way to the hive.

The boys invite us back to the bar for a drink. So we went, I had water and Stephen had a beer. As we sit out in the back of the bar and discuss the bees, Stephen ask how exactly did they get his number because his name and number seem to be getting around and we don't exactly know how, some one told us it was in the phone book but we never listed it.

The guys went in and retrieved a note book and a piece of paper. The tree and bar owner says he called some extension office and ask about who could save the bees, they gave him some phone numbers. As he explains it the first number he called was some woman who made out that she has a bee farm, however he didn't like her much because she told him to exterminate the bees asap! He can't remember her name and he scratched it out on the paper because he didn't like talking to her once she said to kill the bees! Then they called some other number and told this man about the tree and the bees. The man apparently assured them that he wanted the bees and would come for them. Some how the next day when they went to open the bar up there was a note on the door with Stephen's name and number and a note that he would come get the bees. Now we have no clue who put the note, and the men thought it was the guy they called the night before. We have no clue but it's interesting that people know his name and number and hand it out when bees come up as a topic.

Now the funniest part of the whole morning came as we sat there discussing the mysterious note. We heard a car wreck, one of the guys thought that maybe a car had hit one of the stray dogs that often roam around this community. He was saying as much when an instant after we hear the bang sirens go off. Another of the guys comments that its interesting how quickly the police sirens went off, it truly was ...bang then siren in only a second. . The man's comment was actually this :

" Interesting that around here if some one hits a dog the cops are right there with sirens going, now if it had been a gun shot there wouldn't be any sirens"

Again these old drunk guys had me rolling most of the morning!!

OMG How can Kten News be sooooo irrisponsible!!!

2010-05-11T16:06:00.000-07:00

Stephen has been overwhelmed with calls the last couple of weeks. It is bee swarming season and our number seems to have been passed around. Not complaining though because every hive we can capture is a hive saved.

Stephen has been asking people how they got his number, every one says they got it from the phone book under exterminators, ummm we haven't listed a phone number at all so I am lost as to where this came from. Very strange. We only have cell phones so we don't even have a phone book, so I decided to search the net to see if I could get his name and number off the net. I didn't have any luck but I did stumble across a Kten news story about bees and now I may never listen to their news again!! Below is a quote from the news article, I also included the link at the top for the actual news article!

Although some people prefer to leave their wild bee swarms alone, since many of the swarms move on in 3 to 4 days, the safest course in urban areas is to hire a professional exterminator to remove the swarm or exterminate it, before it can discover a way into your home.

Homeowners can also handle the job themselves with an inexpensive sprayer and soapy water. Liquid dishwashing detergent mixed with water can be sprayed through a sprayer to kill exposed bees. Soapy water is less likely to agitate bees than other methods. A mixture of 1 cup of liquid soap in a gallon of water will immediately disable bees that are wetted with the solution. Wetted bees die quickly. Continue to spray the swarm as the outer layer of bees falls to the ground. All bees must be thoroughly covered with soapy water to ensure that the swarm is eliminated. Catch dying bees in a garbage bag or trash can as the bees are sprayed with soapy solution.

Regular honey bees and Africanized honey bees ("killer bees") are so closely related that it is impossible to tell them apart except with genetic analysis or under a microscope. Both types of bees are sensitive to nest disturbance, however, Africanized bees respond more quickly, send more bees from the colony to drive the intruder away, and pursue intruders farther than regular honey bees do.

The venom of Africanized bees is chemically identical to regular honey bees, but they are a greater threat because they are more likely to sting in greater numbers.

For more information on bees, please visit http://honeybee.tamu.edu.

All I could think the whole time I was reading this garbage was why couldn't this empty headed reporter actually inform people about the beekeeping associations and agricultural departments in the viewing area. This information would provide viewers with contact information to organizations that can assist people in finding a beekeeper to safely remove a swarm of bees rather than exterminating them! In case people aren't aware honey bees are rapidly disappearing. With out honey bees we won't have produce. How could any reporter encourage people to kill such a vital link to our food source! Wow how irresponsible of the reporter and even more so the news station for not better monitoring the information they are putting out!

Oklahoma Beekeepers Association at (405) 433-2362, evenings, or the Texas Beekeepers Association at (512) 388-3630.

Some times Stephen makes me laugh

2010-01-23T07:19:00.000-08:00

Every since the day I met Stephen he has been 100% supportive of me going to school and getting an education. I don't know if he will ever realize how much this means to me. Its difficult to go to school as a single person with no worries, its beyond difficult to do as a single mother or if you have an unsupportive spouse. Having him back me up was one of the main reasons I was able to finish my Associates degree and the only reason I am now working on a Bachelor's degree.

Not long after I met Stephen I found myself making a not so smart deal with my X and living in an old rent house that my X-husband and I had purchased with the idea of completely remodeling it for our children to live in as they went to college. With the divorce came a lot of changed plans and no child support. Because I had signed over every thing I was in this small apartment with no yard and to many collage parties going on, so out of pure desperation I agreed to free rent instead of all the back child support that was owed to me. So me and my girls ended up living in the house before it was really ready. Stephen was amazing, he helped close in the garage, patched the kitchen floor (it was falling in) worked on the sewer and built a wonderful cabinet to hold the fish tank with the left over wood he build me a desk on one complete wall of the closed in garage. This was a huge work space for me and where I studied, paid bills and really spent a lot of my time. Unfortunately the desk was built into the wall and when I moved I had to leave it behind.

There are only two things I miss about that ran down house, one is the enormous fenced in yard with a great storage shed and room for a garden, it was the kind of yard you could let your kids play in all day and not worry about a thing. The other thing is that built in desk, I miss it every day really.

When I moved into our now home, I was so excited to not need a plumber on speed dial, not worry about unsteady floors and to have a place that my X couldn't barge into any time he wanted. Stephen was in the UK while I was moving so it was a bit difficult for me and my kids go do all of it on our own. I resorted to moving a little each day after work. This wasn't the best idea because I got a few essentials moved in, beds for the girls, some of our clothes, the couch, our computers and tv, the amazing cabinet that Stephen build with the fish tank on top and the refrigerator then wham the old house was robbed and we had nothing left to move, just a huge mess to clean up. We had no dishes, not all of our clothes, I didn't have a bed here yet, no desk no tables nothing. At the time I only had a couple of classes left so getting a desk wasn't top priority.

In our kitchen built into the cabinetry is an area that was created to put a phone, pay bills or use as a work area. I plunked my laptop down there and finished my schooling in the kitchen with the TV going, kids running around, music blaring and every day life going on around me. It wasn't easy really, I require a certain amount of quiet and privacy in order to really study and work. But again buying a desk for my bedroom wasn't top priority, dishes where.

As soon as Stephen got here he bought a small desk and set up his computer partly for work and partly because he is a computer geek who needs several hours a day on the computer in order to not be grouchy. His desk area quickly grew over whelming so one day I moved the desk over and put in a table to hold all his clutter. That didn't last long before I was putting in a bigger table that he now works on but really he needs an ever bigger one ( his current table is big enough to seat 6 people and that really isnt big enough) I have spent the last 3 years stealing time on his computer a little here and a little there. Once I finished school computer time wasn't a necessity for me. Really the only time I got out the laptop was when I went to drills and only then so I could Skype Stephen at night.

Stephen has really tried to be generous with the computer and letting me have time when I ask. but it never takes long before he is standing over my shoulder politely nudging me to "get the hell off his computer" he never says that but I can read him like a book and I know it drove him nuts giving up the computer to me. At times when he stood over my shoulder I commented that I really needed my own desk and work area. He really wants me to do a lot of the photo editing but he can't stand to not be at the computer so he often moves me on so that he can get back to his desk. Any time I mentioned that I needed my own work space he always unhhnned me and went back to his stuff. It wasn't a priority and we really didn't have the space and he really don't mind me using his computer blah blah blah.. I wasn't to bothered because I didn't really get on there that much.

So when I enrolled in school recently I said to Stephen "how are you going to handle it when I start school in two days time and I need hours and hours every day on your computer? How are you gonnna deal with little to know computer access every day? ". His reply was "ummm couldn't you do that on the lap top" I said " I guess but I can't do all that work in the living room or kitchen, I need a desk and the ability to close the door on all of you!" That very day Stephen managed to help me pull out his old desk, move his book shelf to another room and set up a work area for me. I couldn't help but laugh, he was never bothered to help me do all of this because he always knew that if he stood over my shoulder and gently nudged me I would move on and give up the computer, but going back to school meant I wouldn't be able to do that and he would have to relinquish the computer time to me. It is funny to me that threatening his computer time put him into instant action.

I don't think this is just a Stephen thing, I think its more of a man thing, they really have to have a reason to take drastic action. There isn't always this thought about what every one else needs, if it don't affect men directly they seem to block every thing out. Men make me laugh, especially Stephen!

adding my most recent drawing from art class. I have a long way to go but working on it.

don't look a gift horse in the mouth!

2010-01-19T15:30:00.000-08:00

Normally at work I listen to audio books while I work so that people's chattering don't distract me. I love doing this and have a shelf full of books.I have listened to each book at least 3 or 4 times each, and every one there that has books has traded back and forth with me so I have listened to pretty much all the books floating around the office. It is for sure time to visit half price books as soon as possible.

Today instead of re-listening to a book I turned on the radio. It didn't take 2 minutes for me to be mad, this is why books are better! People where calling into this radio station bashing the US forces for not acting quick enough or doing enough for the people in Haiti. Let me say for the record that my favorite part of being in the military is the fact that when disaster strikes I may get to run and help. I was there a few days after Katrina hit New Orleans and I loved it. But it really ruffles my feathers when you try to help and get treated like crap for it!

Like I said I was in New Orleans right after Katrina hit, I didn't see any other countries dropping supplies down to those trapped people! No those trapped people ate the MRE and drank the water that we had in our personal bags to feed us while we where there. We went there knowing that supplies where short so we took as much food and water as we could in order to sustain us (the troops) until supplies where delivered or we went home. Most of the people in the Super Dome had been with out supplies for 5 days when we arrived, most of us took the food and water out of our personal bags and handed it into the crowd for the young and elderly to share.

I saw US forces bring supplies before to many days passed but I never saw any foreign countries hovering over our disaster and dropping supplies to us.

The US has suffered other disasters, tornadoes that destroyed OKC and Dallas, and again we sustained our selves and took care of each other but I don't recall other countries jumping in to help.

Now don't take me wrong I am all for helping but why can't people just be thankful for what help they get instead of complaining that it isn't enough! Why is the responsibility of the US to take care of every country? One of the people that called into the radio station today was complaining that the Haiti people are living outside, hello our country is struggling at the moment we have a lot of people living out side too! And don't they realize that all of your troops that are over there right now are living outside to just so they can help!

Say thank you to some one once in a while instead of complaining that they don't do enough for you!

school so far

2010-01-13T19:43:00.001-08:00

Ok

OK huge relief when Monday afternoon rolled around and my class was all set up I discovered that all those books posted out there didn't apply to my class. I only have two books and a lot of reading but not nearly what I thought was posted.

I am actually taking two classes but on Monday there was only one class set up. Today I had a voice mail from my advisor (who I have never spoken to before) telling me that she had my second class set up and I could start attending now. I have yet to get a response from the advisor or instructor about how this will affect my required attendance or the lateness of the 3 assignments that have already been due. The new class is an art history class and already on day one I am wondering why exactly do I need to know about prehistoric art. Yes it is interesting and I think I will like looking at it and understanding what it all means but why is it important to a photography degree?

The first class is an art class where I actually have to draw stuff, scan it and turn it in so that the entire class can see. The first thing we had to draw (first pic above) was odd. We had to put the paper and pencil to in a position so that we could not see it, and then draw our hand, but with out looking at the paper, we had to draw our hand 3 times, non of mine look the same and all of them look like some little kid drew them. Sara and Shelby burst in and had a look at my drawing and burst out laughing, I was really feeling down about it until I posted mine and wondered through the class looking at all the other student's drawings. Yeah we all drew strange looking pics of our hands.

The second assignment was to do almost the same thing, only this time we had to be holding something in the model hand and we could look but not draw while looking, in other words we could stop take a peek to see if the where heading in the same direction (but don't lift the pencil) then stop looking and start drawing again. Once again I had a less than attractive picture. I just want to start drawing something I am good at, I am back to the idea that I should be blobbing paint on a board and calling it art! But either way the drawing is a bit of fun. I am thinking I better enjoy the art classes because I know that when I get to the photography classes and they start talking fstop and aperture and all those things I will be struggling to keep up.

starting school

2010-01-10T06:17:00.000-08:00

Well I finally enrolled in school to start working on a Bachlor's degree. I am taking the classes on line at The Art Institute. I assumed this would be just like the online classes I took at UOP. I was a little off on my assumptions!. I got my first assignment from my advisor, he emailed it to me and said here it is for Monday you can go ahead and look over it. So I did, this assignment just reaffermed my incorrect ideas that it would be the same. Basically write a little bio, post it, read the other students bios and reply to them. Great just like UOP.

Then I decided to have a look at the rest of the week's assignments. OMG there are 17 books with 2-3 chapters to be read from each book! Ok we had one book per class before and a couple chapters from that book. I am blown away at the amount of reading I have to do and the subjects as well. I enrolled for a Batchlors in Photography, the books are about being a professional sales person, archatector, video game design and web page design. Wow I am in for a lot of long nights!

All I can say is I really want this degree so it is reading time!

I added a photo from a recent wedding, Stephen and I really want to start doing a photo a day but with hawk, work, kids, broken down car and now school I am not sure when I will have time!

Fav photo of the day

2009-12-13T17:28:00.001-08:00

Stephen booked a wedding to photograph yesterday. I was not pleased with most of the photo's that I took through out the day, mostly because I was struggling with a flash that wasn't taking commands from the camera. The flash wasn't zooming in and out like it normally does, I suspect this is because I was jacking around with it and changed something I shouldn't have. Thank God Stephen is the photographer and we rely on the photos he takes and not the ones I take.

I did however manage to take this photo at the reception, which isn't of the wedding its self, does not have the bride or groom or wedding party in it but is still my fav for the day. Not so much because it is a great photo but more because the family was so willing to huddle in close for a snap shot of them celebrating a special event. There where some people who didn't try to hide the fact that they really would rather not have their photo taken, one lady even told me I couldn't take her photo. A photo means 10000000 times more when the subjects are happy to be photographed!

Braces

2009-11-29T16:15:00.001-08:00

I told Stephen to let me do the braces, then they would have looked like the ones that I did like these pics!

our evenings

2009-10-28T21:28:00.000-07:00

this is what we now do with our evenings

Hawk Hunting!

2009-10-25T08:25:00.000-07:00

Stephen received his final falconry permit on October 13th. Every since that day we have spent every afternoon and entire weekends looking for a hawk for him.

We have driven every back road from Colbert to Ardmore, Tishamingo, Atoka and Durant. I am positive that we have put in over a 1000 miles. Up until this point Stephen and his mentor has spotted on passage bird (a hawk under one year of age) but the spot wasn't a good one and the hawk wouldn't attempt the trap due to traffic.

We have seen a lot and trapped a few but in the end it was always a hag (a hawk over a year old). So a lot of other falconers have been going on about this place called Hackberry Flat/The Wet Lands

Hackberry Flat surrounds Fredrick , which is a good 3 hour drive from where we live and we need to be there by sun up. Hawks hunt at sun up and in the evening, they like to sore during the middle of the day. Needless to say we woke up at 3 am yesterday and was driving toward Fredrick and the Flats. We met up with Sephen's mentor and his daughter on the way and traveled by two vehicles with hand held radios in each for communication. Stephen and I took with us our 18 month old daughter (Katie) who has been a real trooper with all the driving around the last couple of weeks, and Our 11 year old daughter (Shelby) who only got involved with the whole hawking adventure because she wanted to keep the hampsters that we used as bait. Now she is an Ace Hawk spotter!!

We arrived about 3 minutes from Fredrick just as the sun was rising! I think this is the first time Stephen and I have ever watched a sun rise together and we spent it looking for hawk movements lmao..

Once the sun was up and we where moving into Fredrick we spotted some birds. One amazing looking hawk that was uniquely extremely dark. In fact we had written him off as crow when Stephen and Steve (the mentor) both realized that no this was a really dark hawk. Unfortunately this hawk was no fool and the trap was not about to trick him.

We then found a passage bird that hit the trap before we could turn around to see it. This one made me sad really. She was a beautiful bird but it was apparent that she had an encounter with a power line and didn't fair so well. If I had all the qualifications to rehab birds this one would have been my special project! She was missing a lot of wing feathers and some of her tail feathers had came out and she now had 2 red tail feathers to replace them, but the red feathers where damaged and her future wasn't looking bright.

Stephen has been trying to get me to look into all the test and requirments for rehabing birds but I have been reluctent, that is another story for another day. But I think this bird changed my mind and I can see Stephen and I getting into the rehab area.

Steve had to head back at noon because his daughter had a soccer game to attend. By noon we where tired and thirsty and hungery but not willing to give up. So we left the flats and headed into town. We had sandwiches and soda and went right back out looking for more hawks. Determined that we wanted the trapping to end and the training to begin.

We drove around until 3pm, my eyes where acking, my body hurt and I was beyond exhausted. Stephen was getting down about the whole thing as well. We spotted a bird and chose to trap it just for moral really. This was no nice bird! we sat the trap and went to turn around and she was already on the trap. Stephen did the release but the bird had grabbed hold of the towel that he used to cover her face and refused to let go. in the end he had to just lay her on the ground and walk away so that she could fly off. Most birds fly away from you as quickly as possible. This hag flew straight up to the pole that we had trapped her off of, by the time we got in the car and started to leave she was eyeballing us, feathers all turned out and was actually stomping her feed like a child throwing a fit! She was pissed and we couldn't help but laugh.

After that we drove around some more until about 4 pm. Stephen finally said look we aren't getting the hawk today lets just drive home. However we did choose to drive the longer way so that we would be in Oklahoma the entire time so that if we happen to spot a hawk we would be legal in trapping her.

At a few minutes until 5 we spotted two hawks on poles and decided to go on and try trapping at least one just to see what happened. The first one bumped off and wasn't interested so Stephen moved the trap just 3 or 4 poles down to the next hawk. Before we could go half a block and turn around she was on the trap and flapping around.

We sped up to her and jumped out of the van. I had to pause to grab my camera so Stephen got there before me. He had a towel on her before I could get the first shot. but her feet and tail feathers where out. All I could think or say was " those are not red tail feathers!" ( red tail feathers meaning she is over a year old) . By 5:05 pm Stephen was standing my the side of the highway with a shit eating grin on his face showing Shelby his hawk!

We had to finish our drive home and didn't get here until around 9:30 pm, unload every thing and wait for Stephen's sponsor to get here to help him with the initial stuff. Putting on the leg straps and showing Stephen how to handle the hawk.

The hawk had not been happy to be shoved into a box and driven hundreds of miles in an unfamilar place. We could hear her in the box having a fit and before long she stunk up the van. It turns out she had already eaten a lot and threw it all up. I was shocked to see how much she had thrown up. She had to be pretty much full when whe went for the trap, greedy bird is all I can say.

Official gender of the hawk, per Steve, a female, we named her Zoie. Stephen was up until almost midnight just practicing having Zoie on his hand. This is the first steps of training her, because she isn't used to him and he isnt used to her, they have to spend a lot of time just getting used to being near each other.

Stephen says his arm is sore and Zoie is still a bit shy but she isnt trying to fly off of his hand any more. The next 3 weeks should be interesting. I for one am pleased that the trapping is done and the late night training falls on Stephen!

Bee Killers!!!

2009-09-27T17:03:00.000-07:00

Right now I should really be helping Stephen develop some 500 photos that are due tomorrow but I needed a minute to rant!!!!
A couple of years ago Stephen happened into trying to save a hive of honey bees. Now for those that are unaware honey bees are disappearing at a rapid rate. With bees disappearing the price of produce is climbing. This issue will only get worse until bee keepers across the world can bring the bee population back to a rate high enough to pollinate enough produce to meet the consumer demand.The last bit of information that we read indicated that bees are under government protection. To kill honey bees could cost you a nice hefty $500.00 fine! I suppose we need to do the research and verify if that is indeed still the current law. With our with out government protection one would think that with most local news channels buzzing about the missing bees most people would be aware that killing a swarm of bees is not a good idea!

At the time that Stephen saved his first hive there where two other people with him. Those people wanted to rob the honey from this enormous hive and let the bees fly off and either find a new home or die. Stephen's one good Samaritan hive is now 8 hives buzzing up our back yard.

In the process of all this I got sucked into the bee saving missions. I have learned quite a bit about bees, their life cycles and their purpose in this world and find myself as focused on saving them as Stephen is.

One of the men who was there when Stephen got his first hive lives only 2 houses down from us. Today there was about a thousand bees laying dead in this man's drive way. We heard of this because a local cop stopped us and ask if we knew what was going on and why those bees where dead. Of course we had to go see what was going on.

Apparently the man's wife saw a swarm of bees in their drive and instead of calling some one to remove them (most people charge for this service, we NEVER charge for removing bees) .. she politely takes a can of bug killer and sprays the swarm!! THIS IS SOOOOO WRONG TO DO!!!!

Stephen was so mad, but just informed the man that what his wife had done was against the law.

There where still a lot of bees swarming around and we couldn't find the queen in the pile of dead bees. So we picked out box and I went into the house to find some lemon grass oil. We happen to store the extra boxes next to he bee hives, so in order to get to them we have to walk right in front of the 8 active hives.

I came out of the house with a q-tip that had half a drop of lemon grass oil on one end of it. (Lemon Grass Oil attracts bees). As I walked in front of the bee hives bees pretty much swarmed all around me and followed me to where Stephen was waiting with the bee box.

We then went to where the dead bees where and set up a box with this q-tip inside it. I of course had lemon grass oil on my hands. I wanted to recheck the pile of dead bees for the queen. As I was looking for the queen bees where buzzing me.

The photos above are of the bees going into the box to get the lemon grass oil. We are hoping to catch enough of them (and the queen) to save the swarm.

Tuskahoma Oklahoma

2009-09-06T16:40:00.000-07:00

I took the time to upload more photos than I normally do because I just couldn't choose which ones I like best ..

We went to Tuskahoma Oklahoma on Friday night. Tuskahoma is the Capitol of the Choctaw Nation of Oklahoma. Apparently Choctaw put on an amazing festival every year. This is the first year that we have known about it. It was a drive to get there but for 10 bucks a tent you can turn up on Friday and stay until Monday. Its a lot like the Magnolia festival we here with a couple of big differences. First of all no on camps at the Magnolia festival and second a night at the Magnolia festival always cost us an arm and a leg.

The festival at Tuskahoma is pretty close to absolutely FREE!! yes a said free. You have to pay for camping ($10.00) and your food (which you can bring your own, buy it there or go about 5 minutes down the road which is really cheap) and if you want to play carnival games ( where you win stuffed animals ) that cost, But the rides are free and the concerts are free.

I have no problem saying no to carnival games, I always have felt that they are a rip off but the rides, well its impossible to take a child to a carnival and say no to the rides.

This week end they had Billy Currington, Wynonna Judd, Gretchen Wilson and a few others. Just for the record this is my 2nd time to see Gretchen Wilson at a Choctaw event and it confirms to me that I just cant support her music, I love some of her songs but She has lost my respect. Choctaw is very anti-alcohol. Their reasoning may be debatable (they feel that Indians are very susceptible to become alcoholics but they support gambling which also can be an addition) but rather or not Choctaw have a debatable reason they are the one's who hired her and she should follow their request.

The first time I saw her was at the Casino and my daughters and I met Gretchen Wilson back stage, she was three sheets to the wind and left her dressing room trashed with beer cans. This time she pulled out the whiskey on stage and her and her band members drank it in front of the crowd. I am not against drinking and had a glass of wine tonight but she was told she couldn't drink but openly did any way. Needless to say I have lost respect for this woman and won't purchase her CDs any more.

Other than just not respecting one of the singers and taking cold showers we had an amazing time this week end. I however will not complain one bit about sleeping in my own bed tonight! lol

Yesterday we had a stroll through the arts and crafts building and then Stephen wanted to find a place to go swimming. We got directions but we ended up some where other than the swimming area. We really have no complaints about getting lost. The whole area is so beautiful we enjoyed just driving around for a while. It rained for just a few minutes and then we took a few photos.

First there are a couple a photos taken from the window of the van as we drove 50 mph across a bridge.

Then here are a few that we took just after the rain stopped.

I was driving back and I saw this amazing view through some trees, so I stopped, backed up and went back to get a few photos..

Then finally there are a few of this man in the arts and crafts area that was using this odd tool to whack on a rock that eventually becomes an arrow head. I found it interesting and I also found the man interesting.

Alexis Rae

2009-08-27T19:02:00.001-07:00

ok for those that don't know my life story, I got married right out of high school to a man that was almost 10 years older than me. Yeah dumb teenager!.. My now X had two children a 4 year old boy (Steven) and a 2 year old girl (Summer). The very weekend that I was moving in the kids where coming for a week end visit. That visit lasted until the kids where 15 and 17! One longggggg weekend. My X drove over the road for several years and then worked nights when he stopped driving over the road. I always worked a full time job and managed what eventually was 4 children. I may as well have been a single mother of 4 for many years.

Even though I didn't give birth to Steven and Summer they are my kids and always will be. Today they are grown and have children of their own.

Yesterday Summer gave birth to her second child. Talon Joe was her first baby almost 2 years ago, yesterday she brought Alexis Rae into the world at 6lbs 15oz.

Steven has a daughter, Cloey Lane and is about to have another daughter in the next couple of weeks. Cloey is 3 years old so for the last 3 years there has been a battle of wills over what they should call me and now my husband too. I am way to young to be a ganny, nanna or grandma, pluss they have their birth mother to name as well. Steven and Summer's birth mother told me yesterday at the hosptial that if she is being called granny then I better anny up and get a "grandmotherly" name! lol.. I just feel like I am not old enough and not ready for that kind of name.. I have to sort out something quick because the kids have started telling them to call me "mimi" or something .. I am only 34 I should not be worried about "granny" names yet!!!

However the granny name does not change the fact that I have the most beautiful grandchildren in the world!!! So welcome to the world Alexis Rae and I promise to get a name sorted that suits us all before Alexis can talk!

The photos above are my son Steven, his wife Carissa and Cloey, then Talon Joe holding his sister Alexis, next is Summer holding Alexis and the rest are Alexis as it was her birthday!